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“They should thank me,” Jrrru says proudly, as if he’s not a sweaty mess on my floor with bread crumbs in his whiskers. “If it wasn’t for me throwing his ident badge into the wild on some drunken bender, they would have never met.”
“It sounds like an absolutely shitty thing to do. You shouldn’t be proud of that.”
“I was drinking.”
“So that gives you the right to be an absolute monster to everyone around you? I had no idea that was how alcohol worked. My bad.”
He’s silent.
“If you ever did something like that with my gear, I wouldn’t talk to you ever again. You just make problems for people. It sounds like you’re making problems for people right now, too. You’re blaming your current situation on your brother and his wife, but I don’t see you getting a place of your own.” I gesture at him, sprawled on my floor. “I don’t see them forcing strange roots in your mouth or telling you to go cross-country to bother the neighbors and puke on their doorsteps. You think you can get away with everything by being charming, but no one’s charming when they’re drunk.”
Jrrru stares at me.
My face heats a little, because I just lectured an alien that’s twice the size of me. Why do I care if he drinks too much or not? Or if he thinks too highly of himself? I’ll never see him again the moment he leaves my house, and really that’s fine. Let him be a drunk party boy. They apparently have them on this end of the universe, too.
“Ouch,” he says after a moment. “I guess I deserved that.”
“Everyone thinks they’re cute when they’re drunk, but honestly, they’re not.” I shrug.
“You’re right.” Jrrru shifts on the floor a bit, as if getting comfortable. The water is clasped in his tied hands again and he takes another sip. “I’ve probably gotten by on charm for a long time. It’s difficult now that I’m here and everyone looks at me like I’m about to rape and murder them.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t show up on their doorstep with a hard dick.”
He laughs, and then groans, closing his eyes again. “Ow, that hurt. You’re not wrong, though. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“You didn’t scare me,” I huff. “I’m the one that stun-shocked you and tied you up. I can handle myself.”
“You can. And I can handle myself too, most times.” He gives me a look through heavy-lidded eyes. “Noli is a bit much, though.” After another moment, he adds, “I am trying, by the way. So you don’t think I’m completely irresponsible.”
“Why does it matter what I think?”
“Because you smell keffing amazing and you’re smart and resourceful, and I like you.”
I…smell amazing? It’s the weirdest compliment. I’m not an attractive woman. My features are too big for my face, my eyes too close together. I don’t dress up to be pretty. But telling me that I smell amazing is a compliment I’m not used to rebuffing, and I don’t know how to brush it aside. I don’t know that I want to. I like that there’s something appealing about me, I guess. “You just think I’m smart and resourceful because I took you down. There’s that ego again.”
He laughs, his big shoulders shaking, and a strange feline grin spreads across his face. It looks completely alien, but I also kinda like it. “Is it so wrong to have an ego?”
“Only when it’s misplaced.”
“I’m sure I can charm the fur off of some female out there if given half a chance.” Jrrru manages another smile.
This is getting dangerously close to flirting and I’m not about to fall for this shit. “So tell me how you’re trying to be more responsible.”
“Mmmhmm.” He shifts on the floor again. “I’ve been working jobs. Saving my credits. Hey, I don’t suppose you know what happened to my tunic?”
My face flames for some reason. It kinda looks like I deliberately undressed him, so I make sure my tone is hard and unforgiving when I respond. “You puked all over yourself and were rolling around on the floor. I cut it off you so I don’t have to scrub the entire room. Just half of it.”
“Oh, is that what happened? I’m disappointed.”
“Why?”
“I thought maybe I’d ripped it off my own chest in a primal mating frenzy. That seems like it’d win the females over.”
I snort with amusement. “Not this one.”
“No,” he says thoughtfully. “You’re a different sort entirely, aren’t you, Barlia?”
“That’s a terrible name.”
“So tell me yours.”
“Go back to drinking your water.”
Five
JRRRU
The human female and I talk back and forth for a long time as my stomach settles and the worst of the null roots work their way out of my gut. The noli starts to wear off, too, and I’m left feeling uncomfortable in my wet trou and the hardness of the floor underneath my back. But talking with Barlia helps.
