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My heart stuttered and fell as I tried to wrap my head around what she was saying to me or what was happening.
“You mean we should break up?” I finally managed to say.
She nodded, wiping at a stray tear. “Trust me, I don’t want to. But I think it’s for the best, don’t you think?”
It was absolutely not for the best. I loved her. I hadn’t said it first, since whenever I did in past relationships, things went sideways almost immediately. But this time, I hadn’t even had to say it for it to collapse.
Again, I’d put my heart out there quickly, and it only gave her more space to smash it with a mallet.
“I thought things were good. Or at least not this bad,” I said, rubbing my sweaty palms down the legs of my pants.
“They were good. But the strain is getting to be too much.” She played with the hem of her silk nightgown. “Having to see my two exes, who used to be in a relationship with me alongside you… Cody ended it with me because he couldn’t deal with the possibility of me getting hurt. What if you decide the same thing—that you can’t be my bodyguard and my boyfriend? Both Cody and Ethan have a fear of getting too close to me, and now I understand it, because it hurts so much when it ends. I don’t want to continue to fall for you, and get closer to you, only for you to break up with me, too.”
“I’d never break up with you because of that,” I said. “I know that being your boyfriend is making me more protective of you. I’ll always put your safety first.”
“I know you will always put my safety first, but I just don’t want to get hurt anymore.” She played with the end of her ponytail, biting her bottom lip. “But it has to be this way, Harrison. I’m sorry.”
My throat was so tight that I could hardly breathe, but I managed to get words out.
“So I’m just your bodyguard again,” I said.
“Right.”
“Okay.” I ran my hands up and down my thighs again. “Just know that I’ll protect you as much as I can, no matter what.”
“I know you will. You’re a good man, Harrison.” She leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. I resisted the urge to grab her and kiss her the way I wanted to.
I had to do something else before I left. As much as my heart hurt, I didn’t want to leave her presence just yet.
“Speaking of protection.” I stood up and grabbed my coffee. “We’re looking into Neil more.”
“Neil? Why?”
“We’re not sure if you should trust him. He’s exhibited some red flags.” I cleared my throat so my voice didn’t sound so raspy. “Just be careful, okay?”
“Sure, I’ll be careful,” she said.
I wasn’t so convinced that she believed me. But it didn’t matter. I was still going to do everything I could to make sure she was safe, even if she didn’t want to be with me anymore. It was going to hurt, but she was still worth it.
CHAPTER31
Taylor
I’d been so sure that breaking up with Harrison was the right thing to do, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. My big bed was so cold and empty. Our conversations were back to the most basic stuff, like what I was going to do that day and whether I wanted lunch.
I hated it. I’d probably made a mistake in breaking up with Harrison, but it was so complicated now. I didn’t want to ruin Harrison’s relationship with his two best friends if he stayed with me. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if that happened. I was falling more in love with Harrison—and Ethan and Cody—every day. So, by distancing myself from Harrison, maybe it would hurt less than if I waited for him to break up with me.
The weather was finally warming up again as we approached summer, so I didn’t have to wear my big jacket anymore. Instead, I’d chosen this dress and the leather jacket I’d bought the day I went shopping with Ethan. I was just meeting with Neil for lunch, but putting on a nice outfit always lifted my mood.
When I told the three of them that this lunch was now on my schedule, they’d hesitated. They still hadn’t told me why they didn’t trust Neil besides the fact that some of his business dealings were “sketchy,” and Neil hadn’t done anything to make me not trust him. I was going to walk in like everything was normal.
Neil had gotten a private room in the back of a restaurant for lunch, since it was easier to secure without any of the guys standing watch a table away. Ethan walked me through the front of the restaurant and opened the door to the back room for me.
“Hello, honey,” Neil said when I walked in. “How are you?”
“Good!” I let him hug me. Once again, I got the long hug, along with a slight back rub. “How are you?”
“Good.” He held onto my shoulders and looked me over. “You look lovely today.”
