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“This information from one of the companies that we researched to replace the flooring in the casino.” She came inside, nudging the door with her hip so it closed most of the way. “I think this company would be a good fit. Can you pull up your email?”
Why was she asking me this? Usually, she just responded over email. But still, I did as she asked, sliding over to give her space to see my screen. She stood close to me, her hip next to my shoulder and one of her hands on my desk.
“There it is,” she said, pointing to one of the emails. “The price looks good, doesn’t it? Or do we need more people to come take a look?”
“It looks fine.” I rotated in my chair, so she wasn’t so close to me.
She stood up straight, putting more inches between us. The hurt in her eyes was a knife to the chest, and guilt spilled out of it.
“Did I do something?” Brooke asked. “Because you’ve been really distant ever since I had to move in with Hunter.”
I ran my hand over my face, my hand lingering on my beard. Shit. I’d been a selfish asshole, just assuming that she’d figure out what the deal was. I needed to be more straightforward.
“It’s us,” I said, gripping my knees. “Our relationship. It just got very serious, very quickly, and given everything that’s going on, I’m reconsidering.”
Brooke pressed her lips together like she was trying not to cry. Instead, she visibly took a breath.
“What do you mean when you say you’re reconsidering?” she asked, her voice tight. “Reconsidering your feelings for me? You aren’t into me anymore? Why now?”
“I’m attracted to you. The same as ever.”
“So why are you reconsidering?” She backed up step by step, maybe subconsciously. “If you’re attracted to me? Is it my personality?”
“Brooke, no.” I rested my elbows on my desk and pressed the heels of my hands against my eye sockets. “It’s not that at all. Things have gotten serious, and I’m afraid that my feelings will cloud my ability to protect you. Make it too hard to be logical and objective when we’re dealing with very dangerous people.”
The silence between us was thick and palpable. Saying the words out loud was a dagger to the chest, but it was true. I was at my sharpest when feelings weren’t involved. Maybe I’d made mistakes with Stephanie because I was so clouded with emotions that I couldn’t see the situation for what it really was. I didn’t want to end up like that, blindsided and miserable, again.
“So you’re not willing to just…” Brooke waved her hand around like she was searching for the right word. “You’re not willing to take a chance on me?”
She bit her bottom lip, her eyes glistening. My heart sank lower and lower. The part of me that was all in was screaming to just dive in, but the part of me that always had more control was stepping off the diving board. We were too high up, and the risk was too big if I made the wrong move.
“I can’t afford to take chances,” I said instead of answering her question directly. “You’re an incredible person, but—”
“No, I get it.” Brooke walked toward the door. “I understand completely.”
“Wait.” I scrambled to my feet, but she was already mostly out the door. “Brooke, please.”
She grabbed her purse from her chair in one quick motion and kept going to the elevator. She slipped inside just as the doors were closing, and no one held them for me.
I rested my forehead against the cool metal of the elevator doors. Regret and shame filled me so much that it almost brought me to my knees. What was my problem? I loved Brooke, and I’d willingly let her go. No, not even let her go. I’d basically shoved her off of me into a pile of mud.
I walked back into the office, the weight of what I’d done heavy on my shoulders. I sulked for about fifteen minutes before I came back out, hoping she’d returned. She hadn’t. Shit.
“What happened?” Lucas asked, standing in the doorway to his office. “Did Brooke leave?”
“Yes.” I sat down in her desk chair. “We had an argument.”
“Over what?” Hunter appeared behind me. “Where did she say she was going?”
“I told her that things were moving a little too fast, and that I was reconsidering our relationship,” I said in one breath. I was already in a hellish pit, so I didn’t see the point of putting off the problem. “That I couldn’t protect her and be objective if we were in a relationship.”
“You did what?” Hunter came around in front of me, his eyes filled with anger. “You broke up with her? Without even talking to us?”
I rested my elbows on my knees and let my head fall forward. “I did. Because she noticed I was distancing myself from her.”
“Fuck,” Hunter said. He pulled out his phone. “Her security detail should be keeping an eye on her, but she’s never justleft. I’ll let them know she’s on her way out.”
“Why would you say something like that to her?” Lucas asked, bewildered. “Are you crazy? That’s basically what her ex said to her, and that really fucked her up.”
