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Logan grunted, and there was something almost comforting about seeing him acting like his old moody self. Hayden really didn’t need to tell Logan to lighten up. He’d already been doing it. At least, he was usually in a good mood with me.
With my chest aching for reasons that had nothing to do with recovering from the flu, I turned back to my computer, opening the internet tab that I’d minimized when Hayden arrived. It was a job search website, and I went back to scrolling through the listings, trying to find a good fit for me.
It was a hard decision to make, but as difficult as it was, I knew I had to do this. I couldn’t continue working here.
I also couldn’t keep pretending to be in a fake marriage with Logan, even knowing everything we both would lose. I could no longer live in his house with him, sleep in his bed every night, and act the happily married couple as his wife.
Because it didn’t feel fake to me anymore.
I had gone and broken the one rule that Logan laid out in the beginning of this agreement between us. I’d fallen in love with him.
I wanted the marriage to be real, for him to really be mine forever, but he never would be—no matter how much I wanted to believe that he might feel the same way about me. It didn’t matter that we got along great and had fun together, or that we seemed like a perfect match.
Logan had been in plenty of relationships with women that met that criteria. Everything seemed to be going well right now, until he ended the marriage because he didn’t want to be tied down. He didn’t want the same things I did. I knew that. And I was destined to walk away from this arrangement with a shattered heart if I let it go on any longer.
So, I was going to move back into my own apartment, find a different job, and walk away from this marriage. Of course I felt guilty about it. I knew that it was going to screw things up for Logan and inheriting the company, but I had to trust that he’d find a way to work things out with his grandpa.
Ihadto do this. Playing house with a man I was secretly in love with wasn’t good for my mental health.
Leaving would hurt, but I had to believe that I would get over him eventually. I could move on, maybe find someone else someday who’d want a real partnership, and kids, and all the chaos that went with that.
Losing the money was going to hurt in a different way, but I just couldn’t follow through with this sham of a marriage any longer. I’d have to find another way to fix my mother’s financial problems.
At the end of the workday, Logan drove me home. He tried to carry on a conversation with me on the way, but I was too distracted by what I needed to do. I knew that I should tell him, come clean about my feelings and my plans, but I was a coward.
I didn’t want to hear him reject me. It was enough of a burden to know it would happen eventually, but going through it right now would be a nightmare. So, I kept my mouth shut and let him assume that I was just tired from my first day back at work.
When we arrived at the house, it occurred to me that if I was still here in a few hours, he’d expect me to sleep in his room, like I had been this whole time. I tried not to panic at the idea. If I slept with him again, I was worried that I would completely lose my resolve to leave, and my heart would end up shattered into a million pieces when he insisted that we follow through with the divorce in a few months.
“Hey, I think I’m going to head to the gym,” Logan said, and realized that I’d just been sitting in the living room alone, staring at nothing for the past fifteen minutes while he went upstairs and changed into workout clothes.
“The gym?” I repeated, confused.
He usually got up extra early in the morning and worked out before his work day even started. I didn’t know how he found the motivation to drag himself out of bed and do that, but his dedication was impressive.
“Yeah, I know I usually do it early, but my schedule’s been a little off this week, and I’m feeling restless without getting a workout in.”
Right. My illness had prevented him from going about his normal routine. That made sense, and it worked in my favor.
“I left my credit card in the kitchen,” he said, coming over to give me a soft kiss on the lips. “Order yourself something for dinner, okay? Don’t wait for me to get back. You need to replenish.”
He was killing me with his thoughtfulness. I felt like a complete bitch for breaking our deal, but I wasn’t strong enough to grin and bear it for him for another few months.
I wished I was stronger. Then, I could have relished in the time Ididhave with him.
Logan left for the gym, which was just a few blocks away, and I rushed up stairs to start packing. I wasn’t going to be able to take all of my possessions with me all at once, but I figured a couple of bags was a good start. It would give me everything I needed until I could come back for the rest of my stuff. Of course, I’d have to figure out what the hell to say to Logan first.
It took longer than I anticipated to pack my bags and haul them down the stairs, but I figured I probably had at least an hour. That was how long his workouts usually lasted.
But I was walking across the foyer, one rolling suitcase in each hand, when the front door suddenly started to open. I froze in place, my breath catching in my throat as he stepped inside. There was nowhere to go, no way to escape his line of sight.
Why did he come back so early?
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
Logan
Mia looked like a deer caught in headlights. Her eyes were wide and she wasn’t moving, but I could see her gaze darting around, like she was looking for an escape.
