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“You okay?” I asked, and she turned to look at me. A serene smile stretched across her face, and I felt a blast of affection for her filling up all the space in my chest as I made my way back to the bed, and her.
“Oh, yeah. I’m…amazing.”
“Fuck yeah, you are,” I agreed, pulling her into my arms. She shifted to her side, facing me with her head resting on my shoulder. Her arm was draped across my abdomen, and one of her legs was thrown over mine. She was making herself comfortable, and I knew that I could do this every damn day and be happy.
Had I ever felt that way about a woman before?
No.
It was funny. I was Rylee’s first lover, but she was claiming a hell of a lot of my firsts too.
I was falling for this woman. Harder and deeper than I believed possible in such a short span of time.
And I didn’t care about any obstacles that might be in our way. I was never the type of man to back down from something I wanted.
And what I undoubtedly wanted in my life was Rylee.
“Don’t worry about your mom,” I assured her, gently running my fingers through her hair. “I’ll win her over.”
“You make that sound so easy,” she commented, sounding sleepy.
I kissed the top of her head affectionately, and let my own eyes flutter shut for an afternoon nap. “It is. Believe it or not, most people find me charming.”
Rylee snorted out a soft laugh, and with a smile on my face, I let myself drift off to sleep.
* * *
Sunny days and blue skies were great, but I always preferred the beach at night. There was just something about it that soothed me, made all of life’s problems seem a little smaller. The eternal nature of the ocean was a comfort, and I liked the way the moon shined on the water.
Being on the beach after sunset was always a peaceful experience.
After dinner with Dale and Sandra that evening, I took Rylee out on a walk along the shore. The island was so small that we could have walked around the whole perimeter in about two hours, but I didn’t have a plan as we strolled barefoot through the sand. Our pace was leisurely, and I held Rylee’s hand, my fingers intertwined with hers.
“It’s so beautiful here,” Rylee said, the wind coming in off the ocean whipping her hair around her face.
“It is,” I agreed, keeping my eyes on her. “But I have to confess. The real reason I asked you to come out here with me wasn’t to enjoy the beach. I wanted to talk to you without Dale and Sandra around.”
She blinked up at me in concern. “Is something wrong?”
“No, but I’ve been thinking about what you told me earlier, about my dad and your mom.”
God, it felt weird to even say those words, even though I knew what a philandering cheat he’d always been. My father hurt Rylee’s mother and mine. And many other women over the years. He was twisted and didn’t care how his affairs hurt others.
“I need you to know that I’m not like that man,” I stated, the words adamant. “Not at all.”
“You mean, you’d never cheat on your wife?” she asked softly.
“No, I wouldn’t, because I saw firsthand what that did to my mother. He pulled a lot of self-centered shit over the years, but it’s more than that.” I exhaled a deep breath before continuing. “My dad was…not a good father. I don’t know how else to put it. He was selfish, too obsessed with work and doing what madehimhappy, to the exclusion of his wife and kids. It’s like we were an afterthought. Sometimes, I think he only ever had a family because it was expected of him.”
Her hazel eyes widened. “You don’t think he loved you guys?”
Wow, she was perceptive. I wasn’t going to go there, but now that she asked…
“No, I don’t. I’m not sure he was capable of that kind of emotional depth,” I said as we continued our walk. “It took me a long time to realize that. As a kid, I felt like I was always trying to get his attention, you know? I wanted him to reallyseeme. I guess that’s why I’m the way that I am.”
“What do you mean?”
I didn’t answer right away. My eyes looked out over the dark water, listening to the steady movement of the waves against the shore, but my mind was a million miles away, replaying all the unpleasant memories from my childhood that I didn’t like to think about. I wasn’t abused or anything like that, but my father wasn’t the person I needed him to be, and I had a lot of examples of him falling short.
