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I want to be around bump when they’re born, watch them grow. Help with night feedings. I want it all. I want my family. My shoulders sag and a deep pain pierces through my chest, causing my throat to clog. I drop my head forward to disguise the tears welling in my eyes at how helpless I feel right now.
Owen grips my shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
“Shaw, can you stay the night? I don’t want to be alone.” My body freezes with the sound of her voice.Did she always sound so whiny?
Our eyes snap to Liz, who cradles her bump, and I force my eyes away into the disapproving stare of Owen.Jesus, I need to catch a break.
“You’ll be catching something if you don’t start wrapping the little fucker up.” Owen nods toward my dick, and I realize I said my thoughts out loud.
“Very fucking funny. I always wrap it, smartass.” I startle at my own words. “Before my wife,” I clarify, earning a chuckle from Owen.
He slaps me on the back as he heads toward the door, making panic overcome me at the thought of leaving me with this mess. I quickly follow him. “Wait, where the fuck are you going?”
He scans my face before coming up blank. “I have other places to stay.” He shrugs.
I move closer to him and lower my voice so Lizzie can’t overhear me. “Don’t fucking leave me here with her.” I tilt my head toward her.
Owen bites his lip to stifle a laugh, and I’ve never wanted to punch him as much as I do right now. My eyes drill into his with desperation. Owen’s face relaxes, and a look of sympathy flashes in his eyes before he spins on his heels and sighs. “Liz, you need to put your big girl pants on. Shaw here has a knocked-up wife to go home to,” he spits, shocking me at his abrupt tone and language. My nose scrunches up in disgust. It really shouldn’t surprise me. No wonder Laya had problems communicating with him.
“I’m his girlfriend and the mother of his baby.” She puts her hands on her hips and raises her chin.Here we fucking go.I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Newsflash, sweetheart, ex-girlfriend. His wife and kid come first. Your kid, second, then you...” he winces, “... somewhere. I’m not sure where. Point bein’, darlin’, your feelings don’t matter. Shaw, we leaving?” He stares at me pointedly, giving me a blatant option to stay with the psycho ex or leave with him.
I snatch up my car keys, fumbling to push past Owen. “I’ll drop by tomorrow to discuss.” I point my finger in the direction of the bump as Liz stares at me open-mouthed.
I’ve never left a property so quickly in my entire life. Not even when I got caught fucking my piano teacher and her husband, a kickboxing champion, burst through the door. Nope, my heart is racing so fast I’m concerned I’m about to have a heart attack.
“Really wouldn’t want to be you right now,” Owen jokes as we head toward our cars.
“Very fucking funny.”
“Although the whole pregnancy thing appears a little more inviting lately.” His gaze and voice wander, making me realize I wasn’t meant to hear the comment, so instead, I thank him and get in my car, wondering how the hell I’m going to explain things to Emi and where the hell we go from here.
TWENTY-NINE
EMI
Ipace the bedroom, chewing on my fingernail. It’s a wonder I haven’t worn the carpet down. Shaw has been gone for what feels like hours, and every time I think about what I’m about to do, a wave of nausea rolls through me.
Bump gives out a small kick, as though reminding me of the repercussions of my forthcoming actions. I swallow thickly, my throat tightening, and the overwhelming thoughts of dread, coupled with my heart breaking, is enough for me to rush toward the toilet, heaving mercilessly into the bowl yet again.
Tears fall from my eyes as I imagine Shaw embracing Lizzie with their child, followed by a flash of fear striking through me when I consider Luca’s reaction to the latest news. I know my brother will stop at nothing to make sure I’m not hurt and the organization’s reputation is not in tatters. His potential actions already haunt me, filling me with dread and despair, causing fear to swirl through me to the point of pain.
There’s only one way to dispel any further heartache.
I need a new truth. One that may well hurt me but will protect the ones I love above all else. Because the thought of Shaw being hurt is almost too much to bear. I can’t allow that. I won’t allow it.
I rush back into the bedroom and into my closet to rummage through my bags. I locate the burner phone I have, the one that holds the only name that can help me through all of this.
The only other man I have ever considered a lover: Aldo.
I’ll share the truth and set us both free.
SHAW
The house feels emptier than ever when I return, and I want nothing more than to climb into bed and pull Emi into my arms, embracing her and our baby. But I know that’s not how this is going to go down. I know it’s going to be a tough topic, one we need to figure out as a married couple.
I climb the stairs one by one, my feet weighed down with guilt at each step.How the hell do I tell her this?
