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“I’m sorry.” I rise from the sofa and move toward her. “It was a reflex. I’ll be here at the same time next Tuesday. Meet me for a drink and we can decide if we’ll scene again.” I want to reach for her and pull her back against me. She’s so much smaller than me, but she’s perfect.
“Okay.” Her voice is soft and has a bit of trepidation to it.
“I won’t push that limit with you, but I want to continue to scene with you in the future.” I slide my hands along her face and into her hair. She grips my chest and I tip her head back. I know she’s going to think I’m going for her lips again, but as I lower my head, I tip hers toward me and I kiss her forehead. I linger for a moment, trying to convey my apology. “I really don’t want to hear you say red again if I can help it. Okay? Now let me walk you to your car.” I pull away and move back to where I dropped my shirt. When I turn back around, she’s still standing there staring at me. She is working those sexy lips, biting them, and I so want to take them between my teeth.
“Okay,” she says, her voice again soft.
I quickly slip my socks and boots on. I take her hand and lead her from the room. I lock up, knowing that the staff will come in and clean tomorrow like they always do during the day. I direct her to the stairs closest to us and the main door, so she isn’t walking along the main floor with the just fucked look and no collar. My hand goes to her lower back when we get to the top of the stairs, and I direct her down. She hasn’t spoken since we left the suite. I know she’s a little freaked out by having to use her safe word and me trying to kiss her. When we reach the lobby, I wait while she gets her jacket—a long wool trench that covers her outfit. Her hair is still braided. Boz smirks when we pass him, and I slightly shake my head, not wanting him to comment.
“I’m over there.” Syn’s voice is barely over a whisper, and I know it’s because she’s worried about me finding out more information about her. She’s not scared of me. She’s worried though.
“Let’s go. I’m over here too.”
We move toward a white GMC SUV. It’s not one of the large ones but more of a crossover style. It’s new by the paper plate in the back window. She clicks the key fob and the lights blink as the driver’s side door unlocks and the interior lights turn on. I like that she has that security feature on. She turns to me at the rear of the car and rests against it.
“I didn’t mean to say red. I’m just not ready for that. I don’t want to give you all my baggage, but I was hurt in the past.”
“Syn, I’ll take whatever I can get of you right now.” I lean into her, pressing her against the car. My body is tight against hers and I’m ready to take her again. “I wish you’d send me a text to let me know you make it home okay.”
“I’m not ready for that. This world”—she waves her hand toward the club—“has never been a part of my real world.” I get what she’s saying.
I lean down and kiss her cheek softly before I kiss the tip of her nose.
“Good night, my beautiful Syn,” I tell her softly.
“Good night, Trevor. I really enjoyed tonight and meeting you.”
I step away from her and direct her to the driver’s door. I watch as she opens it and gets in. When she buckles up, I step back and watch as she starts the car. She looks back at me through the window and smiles. Her whole face lights up. She pulls away and I can see her arm moving as she removes her mask. I move to my truck and head home.
I pull up to the large house I bought with money I got from my parents after Portia died. The house has five bedrooms and an attached in-law apartment with a single bedroom. It also has a three-car garage for the main house and another two-car garage attached to the apartment. It’s extravagant, but I like that each of my boys has their own room. I even have a guest room in the basement. My sister stays in the apartment, so she is close to help with the boys when I need her to.
I look at all the gym equipment and off-road vehicles in the other stalls of the garage as I park. Moving through, I make my way inside to the master suite that is close to the garage. I take a shower, hating that I have to wash Syn from my body.
I look at my large king-size bed my sister and mother decorated in creams and browns. There’s a cream-colored sofa by the big window overlooking the backyard and the coast in the distance. I sit on the side of the bed and think of everything I need to do tomorrow. Lorelei will get the boys up and off to school for me since I work the graveyard shift tomorrow. I’ve worked for Eastport Ambulance Service since shortly after my oldest son, Brooklyn, was born.
Portia and I got pregnant while I was in college. It wasn’t planned but we had made the best of it. I switched majors and became an EMT, then moved to paramedic. She continued to go to school for a few months after he was born, then dropped out. I proposed, but she didn’t want to get married just because we were having a kid. We lived in a small apartment at the time, and I did the best I could. After the twins, Hayden and Holdyn, came three years later, Portia started pushing away. She left a month after their first birthday and died of a drug overdose three years later. Without my family I would have given up some days.
Leaning back in the bed, I stare at the ceiling and think of Syn. Her body and eyes fill my mind. I reflect on her perfect submission to me up until I tried to kiss her. She’s everything I’ve looked for in a woman, but I can’t trust these feelings yet. They are too fast and too soon. I can’t let another woman blindside me like Portia did.
My hand slides across the bed to the empty side. The coolness of the sheets settles like a lump in my stomach. I wish I had Syn’s body next to mine, settling into me. I want her to be my little spoon. My last thought before I fall asleep is of Syn’s body pressed against mine. Tomorrow all three of my boys have hockey practice and I’ll be too busy to focus on anything but work and my family. That is the hope, at least.
* * *
Emersyn
I watch him in the rearview mirror as he moves to a large truck. It’s exactly the type of vehicle I’d expect him to drive. I think about everything that happened. He took me so deep into subspace all the tension has left my body. I almost let him kiss me.
I loved the way he touched me when he led me out of the club. His hand moved from the back of my neck to my lower back. He used his body to shield people from seeing me. Even the doorman didn’t say anything to us. I liked that he was a gentleman and walked me to my car. It was more of a date than just sex with him.
On the drive to the condo I share with my son and mother, I think of everything. After my divorce, I explored BDSM because I’d always had cravings my ex-husband would call me a freak for liking, but now I know I’m perfectly normal. I’ve never had a long-term Dom. I’m honestly not sure if I’m looking for one. Getting rid of my ex was hard enough, and I’m still not entirely free of him. I have one more week to go, then I won’t have to pay him alimony anymore. As of the fourth of September, I’ll have an extra fifteen hundred dollars in my bank account. Not to mention the five hundred I was paying him in child support for the two nights a month he had Bas. Caleb no-showed at our last court appearance, and the judge ruled since Caleb wasn’t exercising his visitation—and hadn’t for more than three months—I didn’t have to pay him child support anymore. For five years that deadbeat has been living off of me. Between all the financial support ending and my new wages at the hospital, I was able to buy this new GMC I’d been eyeing and researching for years. I can also start looking at houses to buy. My mother tried to give me money to help pay for it, but I wouldn’t let her. She’s helped me so much already by moving in and helping with Sebastian. I wouldn’t have been able to get my medical license and work without her. She raised me and has been there for Bas too.
I pull up to the high-rise condo and drive down to the underground parking. After locking the car, I move to the elevator and take it up to my floor. Quietly, I move through the three-bedroom condo to my master suite, where I go straight to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. My large D-cup breasts are barely contained in the material of my top. My hips flare into the perfect hour-glass figure. After my divorce, I learned to love my body. I no longer heard my ex’s constant criticism about my boobs being too big or my hips and ass still looking like I was carrying our son. It took a lot to not hear his voice, but in the last five years I’ve been happier.
My hair is still in the messy braid that Trevor asked me to put it in to keep it back. I’ll remember that if I scene with him again. I strip out of the revealing outfit and move to the shower, where I use my heavy-duty makeup remover to remove the eyeliner and lip stain. They didn’t smudge, which is why I spend the money I do on them.
As the water slides down my body, I think of everything that happened tonight. As soon as those heavy wooden doors opened, I thought I was stepping into what Alice would think is Wonderland.
I climb into bed and fall fast asleep until Bas crawls into bed with me after a nightmare. I need to get him into counseling to discuss what happened with his father in the end. He’s been better since we moved here.
