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My father’s saloon catered to all local bikers, those patched and those not. He welcomed everyone. This is a show of their respect for him. That first biker must have been a lookout and has called more.
By the time we pull up to the Airport Road light in Fairbanks, I’m surrounded by at least twenty bikers. They aren’t all patched, but they are here and that’s what counts. I look down Airport Road to the left into the core of Fairbanks and my heart aches from the memories of my youth. Looking to the right, I see the army base and know Jinx probably has lots of memories of there. That was where her father was stationed before he died.
The light turns green, and I slowly pull forward until we are fully rolling again. Part of me wishes I was on my bike too, but I need to be right here. Besides, I wouldn’t be able to ride with all these guys right now.
By the time we reach the edge of Fairbanks and head toward Hagelberger Hill, another fifteen bikes have joined us. The sound of all the pipes causes my body to tremble. I’ve always loved the sound of engines, and motorcycles were my thrill before I was even allowed to ride. It took everything in my dad to keep me from his motorcycle and his classic pickup. I look out my windshield and take in the view stretched out before me. The last time I saw it was the day I decided to leave Ptarmigan Falls. The day I decided to run.
“Little Bear, get ready,” Jinx says from the radio, and I look back to see my daughter. My reason for every choice I’ve made is looking excitedly in front of us. As we crest the hill, you can look over the valley where Fox is and, in the distance, you can make out the ridge where the Elliott Highway heads toward home. “Here comes the pipeline on your right.” Jinx directs Skyler, who squeals in delight.
“Papa showed me pictures of that,” she yells, and I can’t help the real smile that tips up my lips this time.
We continue through the small town of Fox, where the weigh station for trucks is, and then continue on the Elliott Highway for another twelve miles. Finally, we enter the town my grandparents started back in the fifties. It really boomed in the seventies when the Trans-Alaskan Pipeline was being built. I turn into the driveway of the Keller Clubhouse and Saloon. I pause for a moment before getting out. I lean forward and rest my head against the steering wheel as the emotions wash over me. I feel a hand on my shoulder.
“It’s okay, Momma. I got your back,” Skyler says as I hear her belt click. She stands up and also places her hand on my shoulder. I swallow several times to ease the pain until a soft knock sounds on my window. I make sure I’m not crying when I look out and see my uncle standing there. He reminds me so much of my daddy and I can’t stop the tears. The door opens and he pulls me into his arms.
“I got you, girl,” he says against my hair, and I hold on tight.
I need to address all the bikers who have come to show their support. I pull back and take several big breaths before I reach into my truck to pull out my leather jacket with my cut on it. I got my President rocker added right before I left. The day Brazen slid it on me is a day I’ll never forget. She was so proud of me. I was worried and sick to my stomach from all of the responsibilities I would have. She leaned in and gave me a good piece of advice.
“Don’t ever let them know you can’t handle it,” she whispered in my ear as if she knew what I was thinking.
I stand here now and look at everyone.
“I really appreciate all your support and the wonderful escort today. I’ll see you Saturday.”
I look at the road where a trooper vehicle is parked because they can’t get into the parking lot with all the motorcycles. I turn to see Minuet behind me with Skyler in front of her.
“Frenchie, take Little Bear inside and don’t come out until Jinx or I come get you.” She doesn’t question me, she does as she’s told. Rufus follows along, always protecting Skyler.
I watch as the trooper exits his vehicle. I can’t believe it’s him. He has a swagger now that he didn’t before. His body is bigger than I remember it being. He’s even taller than I remember. The Alaska State Trooper uniform molds to his chest, the slacks strain around his large thighs. My heart thumps harder in my chest. I feel my nipples grazing against the lace of my bra. Fucking traitorous body.
He stands back at the edge of the driveway as motorcycle after motorcycle pulls away, heading back toward town. I’m going to have to open soon for them. My father’s patrons are loyal and will be missing this place before long. Even in the winter when they can’t ride their bikes, locals would drive the distance to come sit and visit with others.
“I thought you were going to be later.” My mother wraps me in her arms. I wish I had gotten either of my parents’ height, but I came in at barely five foot five while my mom stands at a statuesque five foot ten. My father was six foot three. I wear heels to make myself look taller when I’m not working.
When all the cycles are out and the only ones remaining are ours, he moves toward me. The hat sits low over his eyes so I can’t see them, but I remember what they look like. The beautiful blue always reminded me of the sky on a cold winter day. My heart clenches at that thought. I can’t and won’t go there right now.
When we crossed the border into Alaska, one of the things we did first was get out our guns and start carrying them again. We respected the laws of Canada and kept them locked up, but now I’m currently carrying in my holster at my low back, as well as most of the girls. Here in Alaska, we only have to identify to the police that we are concealing and carrying. I wouldn’t be surprised if Ginger has a couple under her leather jacket.
I feel the girls come in behind my mother and me, supporting us both. When he’s finally standing in front of me, I feel his eyes moving over my body. I try to hold in the tremble as much as possible. I don’t want him to see I still have a reaction to him. That after all these years, I still feel something. I shouldn’t, but I do. He nearly broke me, and I can’t let him see I still care. Besides, I still have the proof of how much hecaredfor me. I carry it with me every single day to remind me to never trust a man again.
* * *
Thad
Ilook her up and down from the tip of her toes to the top of her blond head. I don’t miss the motorcycle cut with the President patch on it. I saw one of the girl’s backs. Devil’s Handmaidens is a new club to the state. I’ll have to do some research when I get back to the station. I look over and see her mother and uncle along with a blonde I’ve never met. The woman looks so much like her mother, it must be the aunt she used to talk about. A movement on the other side of Scout catches my attention and I see River. The hate coming from River’s eyes almost causes me to step back. I don’t understand it. She and I always got along, we never had any problems.
I turn back to Scout and swallow before I say her name. I’ve only spoken her name a few times since I last saw her ten years ago. She was the sweet, beautiful sixteen-year-old girl who stole my heart. I was a lovesick eighteen-year-old who let her stomp all over said heart. It took me years before I trusted women again. Then I married a complete bitch. The only thing good that came from that marriage was my son.
“Scout.” I’m proud my voice didn’t crack. The woman who broke me shivers ever so slightly and pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head. I look down into her pale hazel eyes and see the slight reddening from her crying. She has small freckles across her nose and cheeks. The urge to kiss them all almost overwhelms me. Why does she still have this control over me?
Her skintight leather pants and tank top pulled down enough that I can make out the swells of her full breasts show off her extra curves. I notice the necklace around her neck sitting against those plump breasts and I fight the urge to ask her to cover herself.
“Thaddeus,” she says my full name but not breathlessly like she used to. Instead, it sounds stilted and formal. I look at her again and notice how tight she’s holding herself. I can make out her pulse thumping in her neck. She’s nervous and upset about something. It has to be about her father, not me. She’s the one who broke my heart.
“I was dropping by to speak to your mom, but since you’re here I have some questions for you too.”
“Shoot.” She acts like there was never anything between us. As if we parted as friends and not lovers.
