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“Lidiya?” He sounds surprised, but not upset. “This isn’t your number.”
“I got a new phone. I um—I dropped mine, yesterday, getting off the train. I was too upset, in too much of a hurry. They couldn’t transfer my number so—this is mine now.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” There’s a moment of silence on the line. “Why are you calling? If it’s about your things, they’re being sent back to you today, my assistant—”
“No, it’s not that.” I take a deep breath, clutching the phone so hard I can feel my knuckles turning white. I don’t want to say this aloud, don’t want to take this step, but I have to. All of my choices have been taken away, and now there’s only one way forward.
“I wanted to talk to you. What happened yesterday morning—I was shocked, Grisha. And hurt. But I think I acted rashly—”
“I should have told you.” His voice sounds almost apologetic, and though I know better than to believe him, even now it’s hard not to. “I’m sorry, Lidiya. I was afraid if you knew the truth that you would leave me. I never meant to meet anyone else. I didn’t see myself as the kind of man who cheats. But my marriage has been cold and loveless for so long and when I met you, you captivated me. I couldn’t keep myself from you.”
My stomach roils at that. It’s nothing new, the same lines every unfaithful man gives his mistress. I refuse to be so weak as to believe it, to let it make me really feel anything for Grisha again. I glance up at Levin as Grisha speaks, and he rolls his eyes so plainly that I have to clap my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.
“I—that’s why I called you.” I lick my overly dry lips. “It was just such a shock, Grisha. I wish you’d told me before, so I could have been prepared. So you could have told me all that in person—”
“I will.” His voice sounds almost desperate. “I’d hoped you would call. I tried callingyou, but there was no answer. Of course now I know why, but I thought I’d never hear from you again. You were so hurt, so angry, and rightfully so. But if you’ll agree to meet with me, Lidiya, I’ll say it all over again, to your face. The feelings I had for you were real. I was unfaithful not because that’s who I am as a person, but because I couldn’t stay away from you. Because you, and only you, made me feel alive again. Please, Lidyia, meet up with me so I can make this up to you—”
I know what he’s saying is a lie. Levin told me that Grisha was sleeping with plenty of other girls, that they’d chosen me to blackmail because I was the only one he was having a ‘real’ relationship with. Unless—
There’s always a possibility that Levin is lying to me. That I really was the only one. My heart races in my chest, anxiety sweeping over me.How am I supposed to know who to trust, who to believe?
This was already easier than I’d anticipated. I hadn’t expected Grisha to want to mend things so badly. After all, I’d been horribly rude to his wife, cursed him out, and fled the apartment in angry tears. I’d expected him to wash his hands of me, and for me to have to beg for him to take me back. But that doesn’t seem to be the case at all.
Were his feelings more real than I thought? I can’t go down that road, especially not now—
“Lidiya?”
“I—I was just thinking. I was so hurt, Grisha. I was falling for you—”
“I was falling for you too, Lidiya. Just give me a chance. Dinner, at Bistro L’flor. Our favorite place. And if you still feel too hurt and angry after we talk, we’ll go our separate ways. Surely what we shared deserves closure, if nothing else.”
It’s easy. Too easy. Either he suspects something, or nothing at all.
“Yes,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut. The word is bitter on my tongue as it slips out. “I’ll meet you there. Tomorrow at eight.”
“Tomorrow at eight,” Grisha confirms. “I—I’ve missed you, Lidiya. I’ll see you then.”
The line goes dead, and as I look down at the phone in my hand, I realize I’m shaking.
“It’s sent.”
Levin’s voice drifts towards me, and my head snaps up. I don’t realize at first what he’s saying.
“The ten thousand,” he clarifies. “I transferred it as soon as I heard you make the date. It was ready and waiting, to show you that if you keep your word, Lidiya, I will keep mine. You can check your bank.”
Numbly, I reach for my purse, pulling out my bank card. A quick call and the punch of a few numbers takes me to the menu for my balance, and my heart flips in my chest as the robotic feminine voice on the other end tells me that my balance is now over 900,000 rubles. $10,259 dollars in US money.
“You can transfer it to your grandmother at any time,” Levin says quietly. His expression is drawn, tense, as if he’s unhappy about something. “It’s yours. I trust you’ll do your best with Grisha.”
“I will.” I look at him with faint confusion. “What’s wrong? I did what you asked. You should be happy.”
“I am.” Levin gives me a terse smile. “I’m going to go get a drink.” He pushes himself up from the couch, and then, without another word, stalks out of the room and slams the door hard behind him, the sound of the lock clicking the only remaining noise.
I stare after him in shock, wondering what just happened.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?
Levin
