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“We’re going back to the hotel.” Levin shakes his head in disgust. “And this time, you’renotgetting away from me.”
“I hate him,” I whisper. It feels childish to say it out loud, but it’s the truth, and Levin looks at me suddenly, the anger in his eyes dimming ever so slightly.
“Grisha.” The way he says it isn’t a question. He knows who I mean. And here in the cold quiet of my apartment, it feels like maybe the only place where I can truly be honest with how I feel. Inmyplace, however rundown and embarrassing and frigid it might be.
“Yes.” The word comes out on a puff of air that I can see. It’s so freaking cold in here that I’m almost glad for Levin’s gloved hands on my arms, offering a spot of warmth, his big body so close to mine that it offers a little respite from the cold. “What he did to me—”
“You said he didn’t hurt you.” Levin’s voice is harsh, but his face doesn’t look as angry as his voice. “Did you lie to me about that? Is that why you ran?”
“No.” I swallow hard, looking up at him. “There are other kinds of pain that aren’t physical, Levin. I thought Grisha loved me. I thought I was falling in love with him. And now he’s just another disgusting, creepy rich man looking to fuck a woman still in her twenties because he’s bored with his wife. Everything he says and does repulses me, when just a few days ago it turned me on. That kind of emotional whiplash—”
“I know about emotional pain, Lidiya.” Levin’s tone sounds like a whip cracking through the freezing air. “Worse than finding out a lover is married, in fact.”
Anger and resentment flare up in me instantly. “I lost my parents years ago. I know this isn’t theworst emotional paina person can feel, but this doesn’t have to be a pissing contest, Levin! I just don’t want to fuck a man who makes my skin crawl just because you’re trying to make me, especially when—”
I break off, thinking better of what was about to come spilling out of my mouth.Especially when it’s you I want instead.Nothing good could come of saying that.Nothing. Especially when the man himself is currently holding me in a vice grip, looking at me like he wants to end me here and now.
“Enough!” Levin shakes me again, not as hard this time, but it doesn’t matter. My teeth are already chattering from the cold. “I’m sick of this, Lidiya. How many times do I have to tell you how much danger you’re in?Ididn’t choose this job.Idon’t get to pick and choose, just like you don’t get to choose whether you cooperate or not. I’ve said this already, but I’ll say it one more fucking time, just to see if it can get through your head. If you don’t cooperate with me, someone else will take over, and they’ll feed me my fucking balls for screwing this up beforemakingyou do what they want. You’re putting both our asses on the line with this childish behavior.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond. He keeps his death grip on one of my upper arms, hauling me bodily towards the front door. “Wait!” I gasp, trying to stop him. “My money—” My purse is still on the bed, full of what I’d managed to pull out of the ATM and what I’d squirreled away in my apartment.
Levin looks at me with barely concealed fury. “Fine,” he grinds out, letting go of my arm. “Get it, but if you try any more funny business—” he glances at the window across from my bed, as if I might try to go out of it. “And hurry up. I’m tired of freezing in this shithole.”
That last part stings, but I don’t say anything. Itisa shithole, even if I’m feeling more attached to it than I might have before, and I can tell Levin is completely out of patience. I snatch my purse off the bed, clinging to it, before returning to Levin who hustles me out into the hallway.
“You’re going to take the rest back, aren’t you?” I ask in a small voice. “Or all of it.” He could easily just take the contents of my purse, before freezing my accounts.
“No,” Levin says gruffly. “You’re going to finish this job, Lidiya. After that, as far as I’m concerned, we can never see each other again. We can forget this shit ever happened. You can keep the fucking money, but you’renotleaving the room again, I’m going to make sure of that.”
“What are you—” I trail off as he gives me a look clearly meant to silence me, and swallow hard.
“Just be silent until we get back to the hotel. Do you think you can do that?”
I nod, my mouth suddenly dry and my heart pounding in my chest.
“Good.” Levin guides me towards the stairs, hustling us both down the stairwell until we reach the street. He waves down a cab and lets me get into it first, less to be a gentleman and more to give me no chance of running away, I’m sure.
The ride back is tense and silent. Levin’s hand is on mine, but there’s nothing romantic or sexual about his touch. It’s just a way of keeping hold of me without setting off red flags with the cab driver, not that I think he would really give a shit anyway. They see worse in this city every day.
I feel numb as we make our way back up to the hotel room, which feels more like a jail cell at this point than anything else, Levin my jailer, and me the escaped prisoner being dragged back in.
He rounds on me once we’re on the elevator, his blue eyes piercing mine. “I willnotlet you continue putting either one of us in danger, Lidiya. I swear to god, I’ve done this job for a number of years and seen it done for more, and I’ve never run into a woman as uncompromising as you when it comes to—”
“Maybe they were just spineless,” I spit out, looking away from him. I can’t lookathim, because the combination of anger and frustration and attraction is all becoming too much. I keep asking myself if he’s someone I’d look twice at if I passed him on the street, and I can’t answer that. He’s beyond handsome, with his chiseled features and bright eyes and muscular body, but I can’t say for sure if I’d notice him more than any other handsome man. I pass plenty of them every day and write them off instantly. I’m sure he feels the same about me—I can admit that I’m not ugly, but I’m not a supermodel. I have average blonde hair that frizzes in the coldandthe heat, blue eyes like a thousand other girls in this city, and a nice figure with average sized breasts. I’ve never thought of myself as astunningwoman, just someone who can clean up nice.
But when Levin and I are in a room together, something else seems to happen—some chemistry, somemagnetismthat makes me want to rip his heart out through his nose and also pull him down on top of me in bed all at once—and I can tell that I do the same to him.
It’s making me want to explode in a number of different ways, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I don’t know if Icanat all—I ran away today for precisely that reason.
The bell for our floor chimes as I’m lost in thought—to keep myself from going insane if nothing else—and Levin promptly grabs my upper arm and hauls me out, hustling me towards his—our—room.
“You’re going to leave bruises,” I complain. “Grisha will wonder what happened if I have bruises—“’
“Oh,nowyou’re worried about Grisha.” Levin gives me an absolutely scathing look as he drags me into the room and slams the door behind us, locking it. “You’ll come up with an excuse if you have them, bright girl that you are, but I don’t think you will. I’m quite good at not leaving marks.”
He’s gotten me almost to the bed at this point, swiveling me around to face him as he says that last, and I feel a pulse jolt through me as his eyes meet mine. I hate it, but I can’t stop my reaction to him. He’s so close, holding me roughly but not rough enough to hurt, telling me about how he keeps fromleaving marks, and my pulse is hammering in my throat for reasons besides just fear.
“If you move, Lidiya—” he lets go of my upper arm with that warning, and it takes me a moment to even register what he’s said, let alone move or try to run again. Before I can process it fully, he’s reached into a drawer next to the bed and grabbed something, and I don’t have time to make a break for it.
