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“No,” I say quietly. “No, I’m not going to run again.”
“Good.” Levin stands up. “I’m going to shower. You have a date with Grisha tonight. Don’t forget.”
And with that, he disappears into the bathroom.
We say very little to each other for the rest of the day. I eat my breakfast while he’s in the shower, leaving the breakfast sandwich and juice he ordered for himself on the coffee table. He comes out of the bathroom fully dressed, much to my disappointment, and gathers up the food, leaving the room without another word.
He doesn’t come back until a few hours before I’m supposed to meet Grisha. I’m practically clawing the walls with boredom by that point, with nothing to do other than order food and watch television. It’s the least active I’ve ever been, and by the time Levin comes back I’m ready to tear into him for abandoning me all day.
Of course, I don’t, because I shouldn’twantto spend time with him. I should be happy he’s left me alone all day. But all I can do is wonder where he’s been.
When he does come back, he looks mildly annoyed. He strides into the room with a matte black shopping bag in hand, and thrusts it out to me. “Here.”
I blink at him. “You went shopping for me?”
“No,” Levin grinds out. “Your boyfriend did.”
“My—” It dawns on me that he means Grisha. I can’t think of him like a boyfriend anymore, not exactly. He feels like an obligation, something I’m being forced into, because at the end of the day that’s what he is. Not someone I’ve freely chosen a relationship with.
I take the bag out of Levin’s hand and dump the contents onto the bed unceremoniously. “Did you go back to my apartment?” I ask sharply, looking over my shoulder at him as it occurs to me where the clothes must have been sent.
“I needed to see if there was any sign that anyone else followed you yesterday,” Levin replies bluntly. “What is it? Just clothes?”
I wince. It’s not just clothes. On top it is—a smoky grey cashmere wrap dress so soft that it feels like heaven just touching it, but underneath is something much different. Lingerie—a lace and silk balconet bra and matching cheeky panties, and a note.
I hope you’ll find it in you to forgive me, Lidiya. And to wear this for me tonight.
--Grisha
Beneath it is the coat that I abandoned at his apartment when I’d run away, and a new pair of black Italian leather gloves. A clear statement—you don’t have to come back, but if you do, this is just a taste of what you can expect. Showered with gifts and affection, just like before.
If I didn’t know the truth, it might have been tempting, for the sex and affection if nothing else. But now—sex with Grisha was good, but it couldn’t compare to what Levin and I did together, and we haven’t even fucked.
Mutely, I hold up the lingerie, partially hoping to get a rise out of him, to see some reaction. I think I see his eyes darken, but for the most part he looks at me blankly, hiding his emotions—if he has any—well.
“Not just clothes, then.”
“No.” I swallow hard. “Don’t worry,” I say tightly. “I won’t run off this time. I won’t call you unless I’m really in danger.”
“Good.” Levin’s voice is clipped as he checks his watch. “You should start getting ready.”
I bite my tongue against an acid response, and gather up the dress and lingerie, retreating into the bathroom.
An hour later, I’m dressed and made up, the soft grey dress clinging to my body alluringly, a hint of pink flashing in the deep neckline if I turn a certain way, my hair curled and my makeup lightly done with a smoky grey eyeshadow that matches the dress and brings out the blue in my eyes. Despite the weather, I slip on a pair of velvet knee-high black boots Grisha bought me, looking in the mirror.
I long to toss out everything Grisha ever gave me, wipe my life clean of him and start over. Unfortunately, that means a lot of the decent part of my wardrobe. He might have turned out to be a lying asshole, but he has good taste in clothes.
Levin doesn’t shutter his expression as well as I thought he might when I walk out, and the thought that perhaps hecan’t, that I have so much of an effect on him that he can’t hide the heat in his eyes or the leaping muscle in his clenched jaw, is deeply arousing to me.
“I’ll call a cab.” I pretend not to see it. “Are you going to walk me down this time?”
Levin shakes his head. “I assume I can trust you? You understand the consequences more clearly if you run again?”
“You assume correctly.” I glance back at him as I head for the door. “I won’t run.”
“Good,” is all Levin says as I walk out, shutting it heavily behind me.
My heart is racing the entire cab ride to Grisha’s apartment. He answers the door on the first ring of the doorbell, and I see his face light up as he sees me in the new dress.
