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“Oh,fuck, Lidiya–”
I feel him come with me, his arm across my back as he presses me to his chest, his lips crushed to mine. I feel his entire body shuddering as he loses control, and he rolls me onto my back as he drives into me once more, pinning me to the bed as he whispers my name against my lips.
I don’t know what the future holds for us. I don’t know what a life together looks like. Levin is nothing like what I ever imagined my future would be. But as I lie there in his arms, cradled against his chest, I can’t imagine what it would feel like without him any longer, either.
Levin brought danger into my life–but he’s brought safety, too. Happiness. Passion. I don’t know how all the puzzle pieces fit, exactly, when I think of what’s waiting for us back in Moscow.
But it might also be exactly what I need.
Levin
We spend three days in Tokyo, and it’s the closest thing to heaven that I think I’ve ever experienced.
We’d been met on the tarmac by a black car and several of Nobura Nakamura’s men, then escorted directly to him. I’d seen the thinly veiled worry on Lidiya’s face as we’d been ushered to the car and then brought to his estate, led into the stately office where I’d known he would receive his guests. She’d stayed quiet as I’d introduced us both, though I’d felt the shiver that went through her when I introduced her as my wife.
It’s Lidiya Volkov now, isn’t it?
I’d felt as if my world had shifted when she’d said that. As if everything had changed, with the possibility that she might want this too.
Now, what matters most to me is making certain that she stays safe. That I can take her back to Moscow and that we’llbothbe safe. A life with us on the run isn’t the kind of life she deserves, and it’s not a life I’d ever give her.
I have to make sure that Vladimir can promise me that. And Tokyo, for now, is far enough away that I can make that bargain in relative safety.
I’d just had to call in my one favor with Nakamura–a favor that, he reminds me when we’re brought in to speak to him, resolves all debts between us.
The Nakamura clan sides only with itself,he’d reminded me.Whatever is going on between you and the Wolf, we will have no part of it. You’re only here now because I owed you a debt. That’s finished, in three days when you leave.
A favor owed by the Nakamura clan is no small thing. But for Lidiya’s safety, it was worth using it.
We were shown to a small, private guest house of our own on the estate, tucked further back on the property, with a beautiful view and a hot spring on the back deck.It feels like a honeymoon, Lidiya had said with a small laugh, as I’d closed the door behind us and pulled her into my arms.
I wanted to lose myself in her, in this. And I did, for a little while. I’ve never known anything like the peace I feel in her arms, the way she makes me feel when we’re together. I’d never thought there was anyone in this world for me, not like her. Not like this.
But an archeology student that I’d picked up in a train station stairwell had changed everything.
For one night, I let it be her and I, and nothing else. We end up in bed, tangled in each other, the taste of her on my lips and the feeling of her all around me, the scent of her in my skin until I feel as if we could be one person, just as the wedding vows said. When the moon is full and high, the quiet sounds of the night outside, I take her out to the deck, sinking into the hot water as I pull her into my arms again.
It’s a paradise like nothing I’ve ever known. An oasis of peace in a life that’s been filled with blood and death. And I let myself enjoy it, just for a little while.
In the morning, while she sleeps, I call Vladimir.
The reception is, for the most part, exactly what I’d expected.
“You let it go too far, Volkov,” Vladimir says tightly over the phone, his voice as cold and hard as I’ve ever heard it. “You gave that girl too much leniency, and we almost lost the cartel deal. Fernandez is still furious. It took more bargaining than I would have liked to get him to calm down over Federov’s betrayal. So tell me, what do I do with you now? Now that you’ve nearly fucked up a mission over a woman?”
“I’ll take whatever punishment you deem necessary,” I tell him, ignoring the tightening in my gut as I say it. I know what I’m saying, what I might have to endure. “But I want Lidiya safe. She’s my wife now, Vladimir. That offers her some measure of protection.”
“Syndicate members don’t typically marry.”
“There’s no rule against it. It’s frowned upon, not disallowed. And shehasprotection. You know that. When we come back to Moscow, whatever you do with me, she’s not to be harmed.”
There’s a long silence on the other end of the line, and then Vladimir clears his throat. “I don’t like being told my own rules, Volkov. But you’re right.”
The relief I feel is palpable. There’s another pause, and I can almost hear the sound of my own heartbeat, rapid and anxious for what edict Vladimir might hand down. Lidiya might be safe, but I have no such guarantees.
“There was a meeting, Volkov. To decide what to do about you. It’s good that you’ve agreed to accept your punishment.”
I grit my teeth. “And what was decided?”
