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Logan tugged off his rough work gloves and stuffed them in his back pocket. It was a muggy day, the kinda day where the heat stuck to your skin like you’d been dunked in honey. He snagged his sack lunch out from the back of his truck and headed into the barn where at least he could be shaded from the direct glare of the sun, though on a day like today, there was no escaping the heat.
“I think Amadeus is pregnant.” Logan smirked. He’d told Wally his new barn cat wasn’t a Tom, but the old man insisted he knew a male from a female. “It’s too bad Wally’s not here. I’d’ve liked to hear him tell me now that cat’s a boy.”
Abram, already well into his own lunch, chuckled. “Wally wasn’t one to admit when he was wrong; that’s a plain fact.” His smile was wistful. “I remember watching him eat a potato smothered in horseradish sauce, because he refused to admit he thought it was sour cream.”
They shared a chuckle, and Logan felt the pull of grief tangle with the laughter until the once funny anecdote turned bittersweet. “Hey, Abram.” Logan took a moment to make sure no one else was in the barn before copping a seat next to him. “Did you get home okay last night? I’m sorry I had to drop you so far from your place.”
With his typical stoic nonchalance, Abram shrugged one shoulder and told him, “It was a good stretch of the legs for me, and the extra time gave me a chance to reflect on the night.” His smile was small, but Logan saw it nonetheless and nudged his childhood buddy with a forearm.
“Your Dad is gonna catch you rapping out some Tupac one of these days and skin you alive.”
Though the skin at the back of his neck flushed a guilty red, Abram only gave that half smile of his again. “He’d leave a few layers of my hide in the woodshed; that’s a truth.” He only shrugged, accepting his family’s way of life. “Aw, well, I believe the punishment would be worth the deed. I tell you I found myself agonizing this very thing on my walk home.” His expression turned introspective. “The music is undeniably an expression of joy and has to be from the Lord above. On the other hand, music does stir the emotions so that I can see full well why my people abstain. It sure can fire the blood.” His flush crept into his cheeks, and Logan bit his own lip to keep from teasing his friend. The girls sure flustered the poor guy. “So, I understand why we don’t have music, but I’m torn because, sin or not, when I’m in the heart of it… well, it’s the only time I feel truly alive.” His head drooped under the weight of his revelation, and Logan searched for something encouraging to say.
“Hey, Abe, you know your secret is safe with me, right? You want to honor your family’s way of life. That’s a great thing. The music and dancing isn’t taking anything away from that, as far as I’m concerned. I never understood how music and dancing goes against any religion anyway. All we can do is hope God feels the same. But you and me? We’re cool, dude.” The two young men shared a silent moment, one too shy to say the sappy things he was feeling, the other because he simply had no more to say on the matter.
Logan looked up when he heard the sound of his dad’s truck approaching. The old faithful was barreling down the dirt lane like the end of the world was on its tail, leaving a cloud of dust that looked as impressive as any contrails left by a jet.
“He’s sure comin’ in hot,” Abe echoed his thoughts, and Logan got to his feet, foreboding a physical weight within his chest. He made it to the porch at the same time as the speeding truck, and the old thing was still rocked from its halted momentum when his dad jumped out. Dad looked around the yard frantically for a minute, and the dust swirled around him like he was the Tasmanian Devil from old cartoons.
“Logan.” Dad just stood there with wild-looking eyes and didn’t say another word. The silence settled around them like the cloud he stirred up getting here, and a sense of dread kept Logan mute and glued to the spot. He did not want to know what put that look on his father’s face.
Logan hadn’t known Abe followed him out until his friend broke the frozen moment with his soft voice. “Afternoon, Luke, ma’am. Where’s the fire?” The ancient joke worked to break the spell, and Logan shot his friend a funny look. The guy was the most un-Amish Amish dude he’d ever known.Where’s the fire?Where did he pick up his lingo?
“We need to talk.” Luke headed around the back of the barn.
“Dad? Not that way—” No need to finish his statement. As soon as Luke rounded the corner, he rounded right back the way he came.
“Why is there a naked woman dancing around your yard?” Luke stood red-faced, arms crossed and vibrating with mortification as he shouted his question to Andie, who still hadn’t gotten out of the truck. As if just now realizing this himself, Luke marched to her door and yanked it open.
“Oh it must be the solstice or high noon or something.” Andie waved her hand airily and added in a mock snooty tone, “And she’s not naked. She’s sky-clad.”
“Sky-clad? For cryin’ out loud. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever— Are you kidding me? What the hell is that?” When she only laughed and nodded at his goofy lost expression, the answer he sought came from the place he least expected it. Abe.
“In modern as well as ancient paganism, it is believed that clothes diminish the power the practitioner is attempting to draw from their surroundings. Going sky-clad allows the seeker to absorb all that is sought without hindrance.”
“Huh?” was all Luke could manage.
“Kiki’s a hippie who likes to do Thai Chi naked.”
That, Luke understood, and Andie shook her head as she rolled her eyes and shared a smile with Abe. “You ‘simple’ Amish are far too intellectual for old Luke here. You need to dumb it down a little,” she teased, but Dad was still too flustered and embarrassed to rise to the bait.
“Well, tell her next time she wants to go sky-clad right out in the middle of the yard, put some clothes on first.”
Andie only blinked at him repeatedly as if he broke her brain and she was trying to Control-Alt-Delete herself back into function. Abe politely turned away to hide his chuckles under the guise of going back to lunch.
Logan just scrubbed his hands over his face and groaned, “Daaad, ugh.”
* * *
“I gota hellova shock for you, son. Let’s take a walk. I wanted you to hear the news from me.” Luke headed toward the personal orchard, and Logan followed without a word and felt his just eaten lunch turn to rocks in his belly. Walking and talking was always Dad’s go-to when he was really stressed.Nothing to do but wait till he spit it out, Logan mused and scuffed the toe of his boot in the dirt as he waited for his dad to finally speak.
Of all the things Logan braced to hear, “Your mom’s back in town” wasn’t even on the list.
“What?” He had no memory of the woman who birthed and abandoned him. Dad never bad-mouthed her. But others did. And he had his own notions too. There was a storm brewing inside him. A tornado of too many thoughts and questions never asked mixing with feelings never resolved. Logan wanted to run. Only he didn’t know where to or why. A strange sense of panic overwhelmed him and dried up all the spit in his mouth. Logan felt the urge to cry—a feeling he hadn’t felt since he was ten years old and wrecked his bike.
“What does she want? Did she ask about me?” There were more questions. Pathetic, needy ones that Logan refused to let past his lips. “You know what?” he blurted out before his Dad could answer. “Forget it. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter why she’s here after all this time. It doesn’t matter. Not to me. I’m all grown now. Where was she when I was six and had the chicken pox, Dad? How ‘bout when I—” He broke off; the “how ‘bouts” came with a floodtide of emotion in their wake, and he was not going to release those either. Not here. Not now. Those feelings were his and his alone. “No. Forget it. I don’t care.”
When his dad reached out as though to embrace him, Logan backstepped and held his hands out in front of himself. “Don’t. Just don’t touch me or… you know what? I need to jet, Dad. I can’t think right now. Can we just talk later?” Without waiting for his response, Logan broke into a run. He had to. That trapped-animal feeling was back and breathing down his neck like a dragon. His only choice was to try to outrun the beast.
