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“Thank you for this.” His voice was even stiffer now.
“It w-was my pleasure.” She stepped forward, but his next words had her faltering.
“I appreciate it, but you do not need to go through the trouble next time.”
“I...see.” Didn’t that mean he wanted to make sure they spent the least amount of time together? She fumbled for something to hold on to, and was relieved to find a chair close enough for her to clutch. It was better to play it safe, the way her knees threatened to buckle under her.
When she was sure she would be able to move without falling, she did so, intending to kiss him goodbye but just as her lips reached him, he turned sideways, and her lips touched his cheek instead.
A soft cry escaped her.
Rathe cursed under his breath at the sound. “Mary—-”
She panicked at the sound of her name, a part of her terrified that he would say something she wasn’t ready to hear. “I’m s-sorry, okay? If I had known...” She choked back a sob. “If I h-had k-known it w-would make y-you so angry when I d-didn’t go with you—-”
His gaze turned opaque at the words, his expression becoming shuttered. “It didn’t make me angry,” Rathe muttered savagely. “It made me...” He stopped himself from speaking, furious that he had almost exposed more of his vulnerability.
It had made him damn weak, and that was what he could not accept. That he was thirty four years old, and yet one night without her at his side had made him lonely as hell.Terrified.
What if Mary one day realized she could live without him – the way he apparently couldn’t live without her anymore?
“Leave it,” Rathe said finally. “It’s a thing of the past.”
If it was, then why did it feel like he was still punishing her for it? She said entreatingly, “I o-only did it because I d-didn’t w-want to risk doing anything t-that could m-make people laugh at you—-”
“I said,leave it.”
Mary flinched.
Bloody hell.He had done it again, hurt her without wanting to. Why couldn’t she just obey him, blast it. Didn’t she understand that pretending may eventually be the only way for them to stay together, the only way to stop realizing what the rest of the world had long been telling them?
“Let’s just not talk about it, all right?” Rathe suddenly felt tired and older.
She nodded.
“I’ll see you tonight. Maybe we can even have dinner together if I finish work early.”
Mary forced a smile. “I look forward to it.” But she only said it for his sake, only held on to her smile until he left. She knew her duke better than he realized, and her guts told her Rathe hadn’t meant a word he said.
