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Hearing her cry, every cell in his body went wild with the need to heed her. But instead, Rathe forced himself to do the opposite. Fists clenching, he slowly turned his back on her, the only thing he could think of now that would convince Mary he wanted her gone.
Behind him, Rathe heard Mary let out a tiny cry, one so broken it had everyone nearby turning towards her.
And then he heard her speak.
“I don’t really have much to say, Rathe.” Whispers clogged in tears, making each word feel like a laceration in his heart.
Mary struggled to breathe, struggled to get it all out one last time. “All I wanted...w-was to let you know...that I love you. But more than that...” God, this was so hard. But she had promised herself she would fight for him, and so she would finish this.
“I just...” Sucking her breath in, she made herself say the last words. “I just wanted y-you to know h-howproudI am to l-love you.”
Her head dipped, her shoulders shaking as she cried her heart out with silent, endless tears.
Shewasproud to love him. She was. But she was done fighting for him, too.
****
Iwanted you to knowhow proud I am to love you.
Mary’s last words ravaged his soul and gouged his most painful memories out of the shadows, reminding him of the times she had tried to tell him the same things without saying the words.
He remembered the time Mary’s class found out about her, the rumors bordering on disgusting and vile, but her only thoughts then had been of defending him.“T-there’s nothing lewd o-or obscene about us. I d-didn’t choose to be with h-him because of m-money or w-whatever.”
He remembered the time he had caught her studying a list of names of prominent members of British society, and Mary telling him,“I just want to make sure I don’t embarrass you again.”
He remembered the time he had asked for her forgiveness by giving her a chance to snub in front of his own mother. “I’m going to kiss you.” But instead of making him pay, she had closed her eyes instead and waited for his kiss.
Because in Mary’s eyes, he had always been his prince.
The truth of his feelings blinded him then, and Rathe turned cold at the way he had acted like a foolish arse all this time.
Once, his mother had told him, “The heart...it doesn’t always listen to rhyme or reason. It just...loves and when it’s found its mate, it will love forever and there’s no stopping it.”
He had been sixteen then. At that time Rathe hadn’t understood it at all, hadn’t even been able to believe in love. But now, every word was crystal clear. Now, it all made sense.
Mary was just eighteen years old, practically orphaned, both her heart and body finding its first taste of love in Rathe’s arms. Once, he had thought she was too young for him, that he was taking advantage of her. But it hadn’t ever been that between them, and he knew that now.
She loved him. She was proud to love him. And because she loved him, everything had become inconsequential to Mary. Nothing had been able to hurt her, nothing had been able to diminish her love for him...nothingcould have stopped her from loving Rathe unless he himself chose to turn his back on her.
Like he had done a while ago.
Bloody hell, what had he done?
Spinning around, panic clawed inside Rathe as he tried to look for Mary. He found her trying desperately to get to the exit a second later, but even that fraction of a time felt like an eternity to him.
Pushing his way through the crowd, Rathe made a desperate lunge for her and managed to catch her wrist. “Mary.”
The shock of having someone suddenly capture her wrist from behind was nothing compared to how her whole world spun out of control when Mary heard the duke’s voice calling her name.
She couldn’t be hearing that, Mary thought dazedly. But a moment later, she was being whirled around and she found herself face to face with the duke once more.
No, God, no!She didn’t want him to see her like this, her face spoiled by tears that couldn’t stop falling, her foolish, foolish heart on her sleeve for every damn person to see.
Their eyes clashed, hers wet with tears and his filled with regret.
“Let me go,” she begged him, doing her best to find the strength to yank out of his touch even though she already felt so weak.
That she was reduced into begging killed him, and he rasped out, “I’m sorry.” He had so many more things to say, but his voice was drowned out by an ear-splitting sound that blasted out of the speakers as the sound system switched on.
