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“Then what is your thing?”
I turn to my irritating minion, letting out a huff of air as if I was going to expel steam. He got the gist. He raised his hands and backed away. I growl and shoot the rest of my rum down my throat. It stings again, but my mind is starting to slow, and that is all I want.
“So what’s the plan, boss?” Yeelus said from the bar across the room.
“There is no plan, Yeelus,” I snap at him. “You were there, weren’t you? You saw the look on her face. The face of the woman I love, and she is terrified of me. Like a swarm of killer bees or a fucking shark.”
Yeelus went silent for a long moment. I only notice because it is highly unlike him not to have a snappy or at least a sarcastic and snarky comment.
I place the glass on the coffee table, letting my head fall into my hands. He may be irritating, but he doesn’t deserve my wrath.
And the fact that this even bothers me said a lot about how I have changed.
“I’m sorry, Yeelus,” I mutter, letting out a sigh. “This pain I’m feeling is unbearable, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.”
Yeelus quietly crawls toward me, his paws pattering softly over the carpet. I feel him sit on the couch, draping a hand over the back.
“I don’t know exactly what you mean, boss, but it sounds mighty terrible,” he whispers next to me. “But I still think you should take your chance and find this woman. She seems to have made an impact on you.”
I nod, and for the first time in likely forever, I agree with the imp. He strums his fingers against the couch, raises his snout into the air, and takes this opportunity to depart.
“I’ll meet you down in the club later, boss. Let me know if you catch the inclination for a shit show.”
He leaves without another word, and I am left alone with my thoughts again.
I look up from my hands, once more staring at the barren fields of my sins. It sounds insane to be a literal demon and feel guilty about hurting others or causing mayhem. But the memory of my beloved’s expression, afraid of someone who wanted to take care of her, has scorched me of all malevolent cravings.
Perhaps it is unheard of for a being like me to feel these things. But it doesn’t matter. The concept of a mate remains and means she must accept matehood with me and agree to the romance. If it didn’t, I would desire it anyway, as I want to take care of her, please her, spend days in bed during rainstorms and memorize the harmonious beat of her laughter.
I’ve never wanted a woman for anything more than sex. Even with Jenna, despite how I was instantly drawn to her, it was the sex I thought I wanted at first. It was spellbinding. The best I’ve ever had, but now I know it was because of our cosmic connection.
I grunt, brooding by the broad, open window. The sky here is nearly always a dark, wine shade of red. I used to like it that way. It was my world. I controlled it and was king of it.
But now all I want is Jenna. To bury my face in her neck, make her giggle, to use my hands on her like a sculptor forming his masterpiece. I want to do that again and again until our bodies turn to ash, and then I will continue to do it in the afterlife.
I lift a fist and easily punch through the glass. The shards penetrate into my palm … yet I feel nothing.
TWENTY-TWO
JENNA
My shoulders begin to burn as the sun beams down on my body. The dust from the stalls kicks up and makes me cough as I shuffle dirty hay into the wheelbarrow.
I grab the ends of the wheelbarrow, walking it to the dumpster. My arms are tiring, and my legs feel like rocks. With each step, I feel more and more lightheaded.
I dump the dirty hay and feces into the dumpster and notice my neighbor walking by. I smile kindly and wave slightly, but she turns from me. Since the incident, most of the town has shunned me, but I can still make an effort.
I am about to return to the stalls when I trip over a rock and fall to my hands and knees. I lay down for a second, avoiding the wheelbarrow as it topples over.
The sky is bright blue, and only a few clouds are slowly passing by. I wonder if Verrin sees this type of sky wherever he is, if he ever thinks about me, and if we could be looking at the same clouds right now.
I close my eyes and feel beads of sweat drip from my forehead. More streamed down my cheeks before I realized I was not just sweating. I’m shedding tears.
I reopen my eyes and exhale, shoving the pain out of my mind. I grunt as I stand and dust myself off before picking up the wheelbarrow again.
I am about to shovel hay again when I see the mail being delivered. I walk to the mailbox and open it, collecting various letters and a small package.
I rip open the package to find my payment from my monthly customers. I smile and exhale as I count the coins, knowing this will be enough to make it until next month.
