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But who I am now only has space for joy. I hold them in my arms and tell them I forgive them, which triggers another bout of howling cries.
Eventually, they settle down, and I offer to make everyone tea while Varzig breaks the news about our companionship. They implore me to sit between them, both of their hands clinging to mine as Varzig speaks.
They are understanding, of course, and feel greatly indebted to the demon I have come to love. They do not protest as I explain to them the ways of the demon isle and the concept of being a mate, along with Varzig’s new attachment to the book.
Even if they don’t completely understand the bewitching concept of the book, they nod along, accepting my decision as the adult woman I am.
“We know how you feel about him,” my mother said, using two hands to hold my one. “You cannot run away from love. I can see it in your eyes. You have never glowed like this before.”
I smirked, stifling the urge to remark that cheating death may have something to do with that special glow.
“As long as you are able to return every now and then,” my father said, then gave both Varzig and me a jovial wink. “Then we can accept your union. Go with your heart, my darling.”
My parents have never been so supportive and understanding in my life. Perhaps the potential of my death shook them awake to the many splendors of existence too.
Varzig and I are exhilarated but take one last look at the village after the turmoil in order to assess a possible second wave of the orc army. We help clean up the mess and carry away the dead to the cemetery. Despite the chaos, it appears that the orcs have fled, with Varzig’s continued presence enough to force them into submission
The villagers celebrate him on our last night on Protheka. We relax, holding hands under the table at the tavern, accepting the various gifts of pie that Varzig hastily devoured.
Once the celebration fizzled, we walked, for the final time, through the dark fog of the village that I called home. I feel a sense of mourning and yet a thrill for new beginnings.
Varzig senses it in me and tips my chin up to him. My neck is craning, but I don’t care. Any opportunity to see his fetching face.
“You will miss it here, won’t you?” He said, looking sad.
I nodded, taking his hand that touched my chin and kissing the palm.
“I will, yes, but you are my home now,” I said with conviction. “I will go wherever you go. You are my planet, moon, and stars, darling.”
The sadness washes away, and with great endearment, he kisses my forehead. I know that I will never be without him, without love, or without a never-ending sense of belonging.
TWENTY-ONE
TESSA
There isn’t anything more that I need in my life. My near-death experience has replaced everything inside me that I feared, that I longed for with futility, and that suffocated the experience of my own lust. Nothing feels urgent or desperate anymore, either. My longings are powerful and passionate but remain unencumbered by anticipation of loss.
I could say that this was all because of the book. I had passed on, then been brought back, all because Varzig was willing to be bound by the artifact. But I think it was his willingness to be bound that cured every ailment of my heart, body, and soul.
It wasn’t easy leaving my parents or the village I had lived in my entire life. But I knew it was right, for once, without ruminating relentlessly. I held Varzig’s hand as we found the portal at the edge of the field of ash, feeling stronger than I ever have before.
“You may feel a bit sick,” he said to me as we approached the portal. “Like the world is spinning a bit. But you’ll balance out fast … plus, I’ll be there.”
Something as new as being spun around to an entirely different realm may have frightened me before, but it doesn’t now. As long as I have Varzig with me, whether it be physically, emotionally, or spatially, I know that I’m capable of so much more than I could have previously imagined.
I kissed the top of his hand and grinned.
“I trust you.”
We went through the portal like stepping through an invisible door. Just as Varzig said, the planet as I know it began to spin, technicolor swirling around me like I had eaten the wrong herbs. I gripped Varzig’s hand, trusting that it would indeed be over soon.
Before I have any time to panic, we land in the place my beloved calls home. My feet planted roughly on a desolate, empty plain, and I nearly stumbled forward as if tripping. Varzig took hold of me and pulled me into his arms, chuckling softly.
“I got you,” he murmured.
My stomach is a little upturned, but it’s nothing I cannot handle. It ached and groaned a bit, but I was eager to go on. Varzig took care of me as I was slightly bent over, clutching my stomach.
“Are you okay?” He asked, rubbing my back.
