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"Anya is not my woman," Ethan suddenly confesses, slightly putting me off. I close my lips and frown. But when I look back at him, I still find his eyes pinned on my lips. "I don't have any woman, nor did I desire any."
I don't know if it’s the thunder or the rumbling in my heart that deafens me. Too fast – faster than the stories in the books or the movies. I can't tell if it's real or a dream. Or if it's excitement or fear that suffocates me. It's the same feeling I had when I ran away from my father. As if I'm living in the moment but on the verge of death.
Every worry vanishes upon that thought. I took a risk and ran away from my father, and everything turned out great. Maybe if I...
My lips slowly open as I face him. The ends of his lips slowly form a grin. I feel like a rock slowly turning into an iceberg when he holds my neck with one hand while cupping one of my cheeks with the other.
“Until now,” he adds before sliding his mouth into mine.
My mind is in a panic. It's my first kiss and a sort of unexpected – expected one. My guts coil and tickle my diaphragm. The loud thumping sounds of my heart fill my ears. My lips quiver as I don't know whether to press against Ethan's lips or just let him brush them. But when Ethan holds both my cheeks and gently caresses my jaw, I suddenly know what to do.
I close my eyes and feel his lips with mine. For a man with a Bratva aura, his lips are soft. His kisses are a little salty but with a hint of sweetness. Panic surges in my head when I feel the tip of his tongue lick my lips. I open my eyes and meet his. He stops kissing me but keeps our lips together.
Ethan is waiting for an answer, but I don't know what it is. Afraid he'll step back, I quickly close my eyes and submit to whatever he intends to do. My heartbeats become erratic as his tongue slowly slides into my parted lips. And when it touches the tip of my tongue, something rushes through me, awakening every desire I have. I just had my first innocent kiss, and now, I'm having my first passionate one. A kiss meant to turn on my desire to become Ethan's woman and to do more than just kiss.
His tongue swirls around mine, and as it pulls away, I desperately chase it. Ethan's breath fills my mouth as he chuckles at my innocent greed for his kiss. When I shamelessly catch his mouth, he pulls away and stops me from kissing him.
"If we don't stop, I'll end up pulling you back and doing more," Ethan whispers while he presses his chin on one side of my head. "You're making me crazy about you."
A cold wind splashes on my face, turning my excitement into worry. What am I doing? I'm off-limits. I'm a disaster for any man who would come close to me unless my Papa approved him.Ethan.He is maybe a tough guy, but he's no match for my father. If Papa knows I'm attracted to or intimate with Ethan, the latter will vanish. And in the Bratva world, when somebody goes missing, he probably is dead.
"I-I'm sorry. I should have stopped you," my voice trembles as fear fills me. I can't let Ethan be in danger because of me. I look at him and flash a soft smile, "We should forget what happened. It should not happen again."
“Sasha, wait!”
My anxiety heightens when Ethan holds me before I can walk away from him. He becomes puzzled when I keep looking around. Uncle Vigo hid where I am right now from my father, but I bet he did not leave me alone. Somebody must still be tailing me. What if my impulsiveness reaches my father’s knowledge? He’s not the type who’d listen to explanations.
“You didn’t like what we did?” A frown twists Ethan’s face as he asks. His eyes are dark with disappointment. “I wasn’t good enough as the younger boys you’ve kissed?”
“I have not kissed anyone other than you,” I instantly correct him. I cover my face with my palm and try to wipe away the embarrassment from my confession.
And adding more embarrassment but, somehow, adding delight, Ethan comments with a big smile, "I'm your first kiss?"
Yes. And you can get killed for it.The words almost slipped my tongue. Ethan doesn't know who I am. Even if I don't stop, he will leave when he discovers my connection to the Bratva. He was in a gang and got into trouble because of it. I'm worse trouble than it.
"Yes. And that would be the last, too," I say while forcing myself to look straight into Ethan's eyes. "I have to go."
My heart shreds into pieces while I move away from him. It may not be love but an infatuation, but it's the first time I felt it. And instead of exploring it, I have to run away. I want to look back and take the risk, but it will be unfair to Ethan. Even when I have escaped my father, I still have to wait for him to leave the Bratva before I can have my own life – before I can have a real romance.
#
Gabriel
"How's the drama?" Anya asks while giving me a glass of whiskey. "Somebody's in your secret room. When will I meet him?"
Vigo.Something must have happened for him to come looking for me. I ignore Anya and walk to the secret room in my mansion. Yes. I have my rich man's house, which no one knows except for Anya and Vigo. I'm not a regular security guy that has to be a boy toy for a professor. I am somebody who can buy Professor Mallows and many more to be on my side. Even Vigo Molotov, Xerxes Belov’s right-hand man.
I sneer upon seeing Vigo standing behind the chair – like he used to when my father was still the head of their security group. He has one of his hands on his belt while the other is on his back, ready to pull his gun if needed. I look around the room and back at Vigo. Twenty years have passed, but the memory of how this man saved me remains in my head. It's the fact that kept him alive.
The walls and floor of the secret room still have the holes from the gunshots that killed my father, ruined my mother's life, and threw me into darkness. The memories of the day I lost my innocence flashed in my head upon laying my eyes on the spot where my father died.
A few minutes before my world became dark, Vigo Molotov, one of the trusted patsanovs or soldiers in my father's brigade, forced me into this room and shoved me into a secret closet. He handed me a towel and told me to cover my mouth if anyone entered. Vigo had just left when my parents came inside. I wanted to run to them, but I was terrified. Through the small crack of the closet, I could see one man. He pointed a gun at my father and clicked it without hesitation.
Shocked and terrified, I covered my mouth with the towel – not knowing it contained a sleeping drug. A few more gunshots echoed through the room until everything became dark.
When I woke up, I was already on a small chartered plane to a small town in Louisiana, where a couple pretended to be my parents. Vigo visited me a few weeks later to explain everything and told me how to survive. I was only ten years old and didn't understand the ways of the Bratva. But one thing fueled and has been fueling my survival. That is to kill Xerxes Belov – whatever it costs and whoever shall die in the process.
When I turned eighteen, I returned to this mansion purchased by another Russian couple. My father, Isaac Petrovich, designed the house with secret drawers to hold important documents or evidence against the Bratva. I needed to get in to find those drawers. The new owner's wife has a thing for young boys, so I tried my luck and seduced her. I failed – she and her husband did it instead.
