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Chapter Four
Sasha
I close my eyes and touch my lips, imagining the softness of Ethan's lips. My teeth scratch my tongue while I try to feel his rough taste buds brushing against it. My heart dances while thoughts of his hands softly caressing my cheeks flash in my head. Tiny sparks travel in my veins, tickling me with the worldly desire to be with a man.
A baby.I frown at the thought. Ethan is right; I'm indeed a baby compared to him. I'm twenty-three years old, but I only had my first kiss tonight. Was I good? Did he like it? I huff a loud sigh and kick my bed. I have no way of knowing the answer now. Ethan must be pissed about my childishness of running away without explaining things to him. But what should I do? Tell him that my father is one of the top lieutenants of the Bratva and that being close to me is a step closer to death?
I may be falling in love for the first time in my life. The last thing I want is for it to become a tragedy.One day.If Ethan is the man for me, we will be together after Papa finally decides to give me a regular life.
The door to my dorm room opens, and my roommate stands on the wall next to the door. A man walks in and shuts the door. I rise from my bed to check who the man is, but my roommate, Tisha, raises a finger to her mouth, warning me to remain silent before tilting her head to allow the man to kiss the other side of her neck. I'm shocked at her boldness. How can she make out when other people are in the room? Tisha looks at me and mouths, "Want to join?"
Her laugh covers our tiny room when I lie down and face the wall. I close my eyes and try to ignore their noise. But, as if teasing me, Tisha and the man moan and laugh louder. The man pushes her onto the wall near my bed, giving me a closer view of their rabid kissing.
My lips quiver as I remember my kiss with Ethan. We shared a passionate kiss and he almost ate my mouth. If the kiss lingered, would we have ended up doing the same? I deeply inhale as heat surges all over me. Ethan awakened my desires with his kisses and gentle caresses. Would it have been more beautiful if I did not refuse his embrace? Let him hold me more? Allowed him to touch my breasts, my hips, and...?
I rise from the bed and slam the pillow. Tisha and the man stop, laugh, ignore me, and return to what they are doing.This place is making me crazy.Even the weather is. It’s raining hard one moment, and it quickly stops. It's almost ominous – like drastic changes will come to my life.Ah.I’m overthinking.
“Enjoy the whole room. Fuck all you want,” I say while walking to the door. I control my breathing to calm myself when the man carries Tisha to my bed. “Call for a change of bedding after,” I add and grab my stuff.
What is this?It's like the demons teasing me about what happened between Ethan and me. The hallway is full of couples kissing; some are doing more. It's a Thursday, but somebody threw a wild party. The people in the hallway sneer at me as I walk by. Many of the women wore skimpy clothes; some almost had none at all. Me? I am in my PJs with a coat.
"Not invited, fatso?" A young man asks as I pass by him. "You can join us."
I ignore everyone and rush out of the building. The night is darker because of a coming storm. A series of lightning flashes dance in the sky, warning me to go inside. But I can't. I also can't stay and become the doorman. I look at the sky and check if I can reach the diner about a mile from the dorm before the rain pours.Whatever.
My phone rings when I have just walked about 100 meters from the dorm.Uncle Vigo.I stare at the caller ID as my phone rings, pondering if I should answer.Ethan.Did the news of our kissing reach Uncle Vigo? Is my father out to kill Ethan?
“Uncle Vigo?” My voice squeaks like a guilty kid.
Thunder echoes; a drizzle follows. Am I shooting a thriller Bratva movie or something? Why am I so tense? Nothing is wrong. I've ended everything with Ethan before it can even start.I shouldn't be panicking.
"I have some bad news and some good news. What do you want to hear first, my malyshka?"
“Papa found out, huh?” I assume. I don’t know if it’s good or bad news.
"It's partly good. He wants you to stay here for a while," I almost think Uncle Vigo's words are nothing but buzzes. Papa agreed? Uncle Vigo laughs when I fail to counter. "Your Papa is retiring."
"Is he?" My voice pitches. Bells ring in my ears. Papa is finally keeping his promise. I look at the sparkling night sky with a big smile. I don't know what our life after Bratva will be like, but I'm excited to live my life without the fear that somebody will take me away to disappear or that I'll marry somebody against my will.
Ethan.I frown after he crosses my mind. I should have taken a risk and allowed more than just the kiss. Papa is a romantic; he changed his ways when he fell in love with my mother. He will not stop me from finding the man I will love, too.
“Yes. But we have a problem with that, too.” My excitement gets cut after hearing Uncle Vigo’s words. “Do you know Dmitri Fador?”
“Who?”
My father has to merge his group with Dominik Fador, another Bratva lieutenant. Only then can he exit. But Dominik Fador requests a union of their brigade but an additional one involving his heir, Dmitri Fador.
"Marriage? Uncle Vigo, please say you're mistaken," my voice shakes like thunder preparing to roll. Papa will never consider it!
"Xerxes will never consider it," Uncle Vigo speaks my thoughts. He knows my father well, too. "But Dominik can bring it up to the organization."
A hostage.Bratva will never let go of any of their top members, especially those who know many secrets. Many people or authorities, like the FBI, can sway the former Bratva against the organization. But if somebody they treasure remains in the organization, their loyalty shall remain.
“You will be your Papa’s leash, malyshka.” Even Uncle Vigo seems sad about it.
"I-I can't let that happen." But I cannot also stop my father from retiring because of me. Uncle Vigo is right; I will be Papa's leash. The family I will be married to cannot harm me to keep him in place. I will continue to be safe – especially when I bear an heir. But, "I can't marry without love."
