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She did as he ordered, hating him for it, for being right, for seeing her panic attack start. For being the calm voice of reason.
When she was back from that edge, she raised a shaking hand and rubbed it over her face. “This is…”
“Too much?” He sighed again. “Yeah, I get it, but this is how it is, and you’ll adapt. So, sit back. This is a good chance for us to talk, you know, to really get to know each other.”
What the fuck was Kodiak going on about? Get to know each other? What did he think this was? Some kind of first-date picnic? Suddenly her stomach lurched, and the taste of acid filled her mouth.
“Stop or I’ll fucking throw up in your car.” Flustered, she tried to find the door handle.
“Fuck.” Kodiak slammed on the brakes and swerved off the side of the road, tires screeching to a stop.
Tamaska opened the door and stumbled out, falling to her knees as she gulped in the sweet, fresh air, and the wave of nausea passed. But she shook and squeezed her eyes shut.
She sensed Kodiak by her side, his heat and aura. His being there oddly comforted her, and while she still needed to wrap her brain around the fact he could transform into the one thing that set off a phobia and hate in her she couldn’t control, she was glad he was there.
The whole thing was bizarre.
How could she both find comfort in him and want to run? How could she desire and hate him? If the hate was because of his personality, of things he did, she could understand. But the fact he was a dog…
She pushed up, needing to get away. Needing to have air free of him, free of everything.
But she couldn’t be free.
Her friend had died.
She knew things about the world she couldn’t ever unknow.
And Kodiak was one of those things.
Her legs shook as she took a few weak steps, wobbling like a newborn kitten. She put a hand on the warm metal of the car’s hood. The hum of spent energy from the drive still lingering.
What was she going to do? She wanted to walk away from the car, away from Kodiak, so she didn’t have to face her fear of dogs. But at the same time, part of her knew she needed his protection.
Beyond that…? What? What could there ever be? It didn’t matter that she wanted him with a desire that went deep down. It didn’t matter his smile and touch could both melt and ignite her. How the hell did one get over their phobia and hate of something like him?
Not Kodiak the man, but Kodiak the dog.
They were one and the same. Entangled so deep that it wasn’t a simple matter of therapy. This was about a man who was something she couldn’t abide. Something that had once tried to kill her. Something that had once maimed her, marked her.
It hadn’t been him.
Just a dog.
But that dog had tangled now with him, because this man she could love was also, at his core, what she hated. He transformed into her fears.
No one could never get past that.
Could they?
And knowing how good it was with him, how they clicked and had a magic that was doomed, she’d rather not see him at all.
She’d prefer to take her chances with the vampires.
At least with those creatures she wasn’t confused.
She just hated and feared them.
Tamaska staggered, her vision blurring. Then his strong arms were around her, holding her, soothing her when she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be soothed.
