AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His words rattle around in my head and dislodge a memory—me picking up my phone, only to hear Maksim as scared as I’ve ever heard him on the other line.
“Misha… Misha, it’s Cyrille.”He was breathless. Terrified in a way I’d never seen in him before.
“Maksim, slow down. What’s going on? Is Cyrille okay?”I imagined a shootout or intruders breaking down their front door. There are a thousand violent ways to die in this life.
“It’s the baby,”he said, his voice breaking around the words.“She’s bleeding. I think… Fuck. I think she’s miscarrying.”
I raced to the hospital in the middle of the night. Just in time to hear the doctor deliver the final blow.
Cyrille had miscarried.
The baby no longer had a heartbeat.
“Fuck,”Maksim said over and over again.“Fuck, fuck, fuck. She’s going to be devastated. I’ve got to get my shit together. Cyrille is going to need me to be strong enough for the both of us.”
But he was leaning heavily on my shoulder as if he couldn’t hold himself up. He was barely strong enough for himself. He loved his wife and child so much that he couldn’t stand on his own two feet.
It is another reason I wanted to stay away from relationships. They’re a vulnerability you can’t control. The higher you love, the farther you have to fall.
Konstantin lays a hand on my shoulder, drawing me back to the present.
I clap a hand on his back in apology. “Time is—I lost track of time. Thanks for coming.”
“How is she? Have you heard anything?” Konstantin asks, looking towards the double doors.
I blink and in my mind’s eye, I can see Paige, almost like she’s right here in front of me. I stabbed the Epi-Pen into her thigh as we drove to the hospital, and she didn’t even flinch. I think it slowed down her reaction, but she was still unconscious when they wheeled her back, so I have no way of knowing for sure.
If I did enough.
Or if I failed again.
“No word yet.” I sound extraordinarily calm, especially considering how I feel inside. My heart is thumping hard against my chest, my bones groaning under the stress.
This is my punishment. I got my brother killed, and now, I’m on the verge of losing my child and wife in the same fell swoop.
This is what I get for my sins.
Suddenly, the double doors burst open. A nurse walks over to me looking eerily serene. “Mr. Orlov.”
I stride forward and meet her in the middle of the empty, lifeless room. Konstantin flanks me on the right.
“Your wife is stable,” the woman begins. “She’s on oxygen currently, but we’ll take her off it slowly now that she’s breathing on her own. She has an IV for the antihistamine we’re giving her, but other than that, she’s fine.”
“Where is she?” I demand. “I need to see her.”
“Just through that door there. She’s awake and responsive, so you can talk to her. But be gentle; she’s been through a lot.”
I charge straight for the door, navigating blindly. I’m not even sure how I find her. I’m like a dog with a scent. I storm into a room, positive it’s hers without even needing to check.
And there she is.
Paige is sitting up, an oxygen mask covering her face. Dr. Mathers is in the process of removing it when I walk in.
I rush to her side, my fingers twitching towards her instinctively. But the relief I’m feeling is still not enough to cross the bridge between us. I can’t bring myself to hold her, to feel the warmth of her skin and the beating of her heart the way I want to. I just stand next to her bed and scan her face for any warning signs the doctors may have missed.
“Wh… what even happened?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “But I’m going to find out.”
