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“Well, she shouldn’t have.”
Cyrille shakes her head. “You’re a complete and utter fool. You know that, right?”
“It’s better this way, Cyrille. I need to be alone. It’s the only way this will work.”
She rolls her eyes, exasperated. “You realize that if you insist on being alone, you’re forcing Paige to be alone, too? Do you really think she’s going to be satisfied with that in the long run? Do you think that’s fair?”
“She agreed to it.”
“You took advantage of a vulnerable woman,” she hisses. “The way that all men do. You found a woman who had no family, no support, and no financial freedom, then you offered her all three. Of course she was going to accept your offer! Even if it meant that love wasn’t part of the bargain. Just because she agreed to it doesn’t mean she should have.”
“Whose side are you on?” I growl.
She sighs and puts her hand on my arm. “Believe it or not, I’m on your side, Misha. Which is exactly why I’m speaking up. Now, I’m going to crash in one of your bedrooms.” At the base of the staircase, she turns back to me. “Take care of her. Or else you’ll have Nessa, Niki, and me to answer to.”
With that, she turns and leaves. I watch until she disappears up the stairs. Then, shaking my head, I return to the sitting room.
Paige is still sleeping. Her hair is a mess of curls around her head. I can’t help but smile when her lips part on an exhale, her lashes fluttering in a dream.
She’s wearing one of her favorite silk robes. It’s one of my favorites, too. It floats over her curves and makes me want to do deplorable things to her body.
Which is exactly why I make sure the damn thing is properly secured before I lift her into my arms and carry her up to our bedroom. I place her on the bed and make sure she’s comfortable before stepping away.
The plan is to retreat immediately. Go back to my office, strip down to my boxers, and find a few hours of sleep before the sun comes up again.
Instead, I find myself slipping onto the bed beside her.
I lie down on top of the covers as I gently brush the hair from her face. She looks so peaceful like this.
After a few minutes, I worry the heat of my gaze alone might be enough to wake her. Those plump lips of hers were designed to be kissed. A siren call to a man like me with crumbling willpower.
I force my eyes from her face and glance down at her rounding belly. It’s still small, but large enough to serve as a reminder.
I’m going to be a father soon.
A mix of panic, excitement, and fear twine inside of me.
Is this normal? I want to ask Maksim how he felt when Cyrille was pregnant. I reach over and trace gentle circles on her belly.
“I want to give you the best home, the best life,” I whisper to my future children. “But I’m not sure I’m capable of being a good father. The only thing I did right is choose the best mother for both of you. She has everything I lack. And already, I know she’s going to love you the way that every child deserves to be loved.” I sigh and correct myself. “The way everypersondeserves to be loved. She deserves that, too. A full life with a husband who can step up for her. Someone to be the protector she never had. To be the kind of husband that she always wanted. But I don’t have it in me to love her that way. Because if I lose her…”
I close my eyes for a moment and let my hand rest a little heavier on her skin.
I so desperately want to sink into the bed next to her, to spoon her the way I did in the days after the explosion. It had been the perfect excuse to hold her.
Now, that excuse is gone.
Now, touching her requires an admission I’m not prepared to make. A truth I’m hoping to bury.
“The two of you are our gift to each other,” I whisper into the darkness. “I’m hoping that will be enough.”
19
PAIGE
I’m certain my racing heart will give me away. But Misha’s voice carries on, soft and insistent, as he whispers promises to our unborn children.
He doesn’t know I’m awake. It’s the only reason he’s revealing so much.
