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She presses her forehead against mine. “Don’t worry about that, either. It’s a good thing.”
I nod, but I can’t convince myself she’s right. As our connection grows stronger, our dependency grows right along with it. My entire life has been about how to be self-sufficient, and I have the scars to prove it. It feels like a death wish to throw away three decades of hard-won lessons.
Paige frowns. “You look worried still. I think I’m making it worse.”
I slide her off my lap gently and get to my feet. “We have a big night ahead of us,” I say, deflecting. “In less than half an hour, the guests will start arriving.”
She takes a deep breath and straightens out her dress. “You don’t think this is all too much, do you?”
“Fuck no. You look like a dream.”
“Such a poet.” She winks at me and heads to her vanity.
I watch and contemplate as she touches up her lipstick and adds a few sprays of perfume to her neck and wrists. I give myself a quiet moment to admire her.
The woman is fucking beautiful. And she’s all mine.
Which is why I don’t relish throwing her to the wolves tonight.
Not that she’s unprepared. She has a knife strapped to her thigh, after all. That thigh…
“You know, it’s bad form to wear another man’s weapon on your body.”
“Is that another Orlov family rule?” She rolls her eyes. “Well, too bad. I like the knife and I’m wearing it.”
“There are consequences for that kind of behavior, woman.”
Her eyes glow with desire. “Maybe I’m okay with those consequences.”
I smirk. “You’ve been warned.”
48
PAIGE
I take Cyrille’s offered hand and squeeze it like I’m sinking and she’s my life preserver. “I’m so nervous.”
“Breathe,” she advises me.
“Easy for you to say. You look like an Oscar statue, all sleek and golden. I look like a blimp. Who convinced me this dress was a good idea?”
Cyrille slaps my hand lightly. “Shut your mouth! You look amazing. Now, you just need to back up that look with attitude.”
I thought I looked amazing an hour ago, when Misha was breathing horny sweet nothings in my ear. But now, I’ve circled the event space half a dozen times and caught flaws in my table settings on every single pass. I don’t have any confidence left.
“Is there any way you could take over hosting duties for tonight?” I beg, only half-joking.
“Absolutely not. You’ve got this.”
Her confidence in me is reassuring and terrifying in equal measure. I try to let it strengthen me, but I can’t help but think it just gives me even further to fall.
I take comfort in the fact that the mansion looks beautiful. The staff has gone above and beyond to make sure this night will be a success. They all know what a big deal it is.
The dining room is teeming with people. I haven’t officially met any of them, but I know all of them by name. Nessa’s flashcards were a godsend, and I only hope I’ll remember everything under the immense pressure I’m feeling.
“Paige!”
I turn towards the voice to find Klim has spotted me in the crowd. I’ve only met the man once, when he visited the house, but he’s still a friendly face—friendly-ish, at least—so I gravitate to him.
