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Is his anger for me?
Definitely not. Don’t be stupid.
“He got really possessive. He was convinced I must be cheating on him since… since I wasn’t as good in bed anymore. I swore I wasn’t cheating, but he didn’t believe me. So when he suggested I get his name tattooed in a place where any man who touched me would see it…”
My chin wobbles. I take a deep breath to calm the emotion welling up inside of me.
“He fucking branded you,” Timofey growls.
I nod, shuddering. “And I let him. I rushed out to do it because I thought it would help. I thought if I just did what he said, things would go back the way they were. But they didn’t.”
“He wouldn’t have been happy until you were dead.”
“No. No, it wasn’t like that. Josh wasn’t violent.”
Timofey reaches out and touches my hip bone. His fingers wrap around my thigh, tracing over the place where my tattoo is. “He branded you. That’s a kind of violence. He wanted to own you, but instead of earning it, instead of letting you give yourself to him, he stole it. He wouldn’t have stopped taking until you were dead.”
I stare at Timofey with wide eyes. What would it feel like to be earned by Timofey? To have him slowly softening the hardest parts of me? If I gave myself to Timofey, would it feel like something had been taken from me? Or would I find pleasure in the giving?
I already know the answer.
Which is why tears are rolling down my cheeks.
“Anyway.” I swipe at the tears quickly and shove my hands under my legs. “It didn’t come to that—because of Ashley. She convinced me to leave him. She helped me load up all of my stuff while Josh was at work and found me a place to crash with a friend of hers. Then, when the breakup wasn’t as fresh, she took me out and we got the tattoo covered.”
Timofey is watching me, but he looks distant. Like his eyes are focused on something else. “A mountain,” he says, recalling the tattoo. “A snow-capped mountain with trees beneath.”
“Standing on top of a mountain is the freest feeling I could imagine.”
“No small spaces up there,” he says, understanding perfectly what I was going for.
I nod. “Exactly. The trees at the bottom are to remind me of the darkness I overcame.”
Timofey’s hand tightens on my body. His square jaw is clenched with barely restrained rage. “I hate that his name is still on you.”
Why?The question burns on the end of my tongue.Whydoes Timofey care whose name is on me?Whydoes it bother him so much?
I can’t bring myself to ask it, though. I have no clue what his answer would be, and there are at least a thousand different ways he could slice me open. I don’t want to risk that.
“His name isn’t still there,” I say. The back of the dress is still unzipped and cut low enough that I can pull the fabric down and over my hip until the black and white tattoo is visible. “You can’t see it at all. See?”
Timofey’s fingers are on my bare skin. He brushes the pad of his finger over my tattoo like he’s worried the ink will spread. It’s the gentlest I’ve ever seen him. He walks his fingers up to the top of the mountain before he looks up at me.
His blue eyes are stormy. “How many men saw that tattoo?”
I should be offended by the question, but I don’t think Timofey is trying to shame me. “The mountain or—?”
“The bastard’s name,” he grits out. “How many men saw that asshole’s name on you before you got it hidden? How many times have you had to tell a man this story?”
I let my finger trail over Timofey’s hand. The heat coursing through him sears my skin. “The answer is the same for both. Just you, Timofey. You’re the only man I’ve—Well, the only man who has seen me. Since him.”
The answer is shameful in a way I didn’t expect. I feel pathetic that I haven’t been with another man in years. Especially when Timofey has probably been with countless women.
“Being close to another man wasn’t exactly appealing after all that,” I explain, rambling nervously. “The closer I get to people, the more they can hurt me. So I’ve kept my distance.”
But then Timofey leans close, his breath hot against my neck. This moment alone is enough to sear Josh from my skin and my memory. Every hurt he ever caused is gone in one exhale from Timofey.
“Being close with someone… beingintimate…can be a risk.” His words curl around my neck like a serpent. I can feel his hold on me tightening, but I’m powerless to escape.
