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I drop Timofey’s hand like it’s on fire.
If the nurse notices, she doesn’t say anything. Her face is a horrifying mask of neutrality. The kind of expression that says,“Don’t panic, but also don’t get your hopes up.”I’ve seen it on the face of too many social workers to count during my life. Hell, I’ve worn that mask myself.
Ironically, it only ever opens a deep well of panic up at the very center of me.
Today is no different.
“Do you know anything?” I plead.
My breathless question is drowned out by Timofey’s command. “Tell me what is going on.”
The woman’s face sharpens slightly at his tone, but she’s ever the professional. “You were both right to bring Benjamin in tonight.”
“We don’t need a gold star,” Timofey growls. “Tell us what’s wrong with him.”
Her eyes narrow, but she continues on, voice gentle. “We ran some tests and it looks like Benjamin has a congenital heart defect.”
“It’s his heart?” I gasp, clasping my hands over my mouth. “I felt his heart tonight. I’m no doctor, but, I mean… it felt fine.”
“As far as defects go, it’s minor,” she says.
“But as far as organs go, it’s major,” Timofey says. “If something is wrong with it, then that can’t be good.”
She nods. “You’re right, Mr. Viktorov. It is not good. What is good, however, is that you came to a place where we are more than capable of taking care of your son. We have a pediatric cardiac surgeon on staff. We can have Benjamin prepped and in the operating room by sunrise tomorrow morning.”
“Surgery.” I drop down into the chair, my hand pressed to my own heart. “He needs heart surgery?”
The thought of Benjamin’s tiny body lying on a cold operating table, his chest opened wide… I squeeze my eyes closed to block out the mental image.
I feel a weight settle into me. I think it might be Timofey, but then a pair of cold, unfamiliar hands close over mine.
“It isn’t anything as serious as what you’re picturing,” the nurse reassures me. “With this particular defect, we just need to make some incisions in the right side of his chest between the ribs. The surgeon will be able to do what needs to be done that way. As far as heart surgeries go, it’ll be an in-and-out kind of thing.”
“Then we don’t need to wait until tomorrow morning for the surgery,” Timofey says. “I want Benjamin in as soon as possible.”
The nurse glances at the clock on the wall. It’s almost midnight. “Tomorrow morning is as soon as possible.”
“Don’t tell me what you can’t do; tell me what you need to get it done,” Timofey booms. “Does the hospital need a new pediatric wing? Updated equipment? I have the money to make any of that happen. Get the surgeon in tonight, and it’s yours.”
The nurse sighs. “That is beyond my pay grade, Mr. Viktorov. What I can tell you is that the surgeon is sleeping right now. The last thing you’d want is a half-asleep surgeon performing heart surgery on your son.”
Timofey doesn’t look happy about the prospect of waiting, but the woman’s logic is sound.
“I’ll page the surgeon tonight,” she continues. “Your son will be on the schedule bright and early.”
Timofey blows out a breath. “Fine. I want to see him.”
“He’s in the NICU for the night.” She holds up her hands before either of us can say anything. “I know that sounds scary, but he’s stable. He just needs to be monitored until the surgery. For tonight, he’s intubated. You can see him before you leave, but you can’t stay in the NICU overnight.”
“I’m not going to leave my child here alone until morning.”
“He won’t be alone. He’s going to be taken care of by a whole team of nurses.” The woman reaches out to lend some kind of comfort to Timofey, but seems to think differently of it at the last second. She pulls her hand back and offers a tight smile instead. “Like I said, he’s intubated. He’ll be asleep all night, so if I were you, I’d go get some sleep yourself and be back tomorrow morning. After the surgery is when you’ll want to be around and rested.”
Timofey’s jaw works back and forth as he considers. Then he turns to the nurse. “You’ll be here all night?”
“I get off in three hours, actually. But the rest of the nurses are—”
Before she can finish, Timofey whips out a wad of cash and waves it in front of her face. “I asked, will you be here with him all night?”
