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“Manipulative, eh?” I roll my eyes. “Looks like you’ve talked to Piper recently.”
She frowns. “I have. Have you?”
I can feel my phone burning a hole in my pocket. I was going to call her before Noelle knocked. I will later.
But for now, I can’t take my eyes off of Emily’s note.
I ignore Noelle’s question and open the letter fully.
Dear Benjamin,
One day, I hope you’ll read this. You might be upset with me. I would be if I were you. But I know I’m doing what is best for you. It’s not safe for people to know who your father is. I love him… but he isn’t fit to be a father, anyway. Fuck knows I’m not fit to be a mother. (See? I just cursed in a letter to you.) I’m a mess. But Timofey isn’t.
I inhale sharply. If I were to close my eyes, I’m sure I’d feel Emily reading over my shoulder.
She would’ve laughed and pointed to the curse word. “Do you think he’ll laugh at that? Maybe he’ll have my sense of humor.”
I’m aware Noelle is still in the room with me, though. So I clench my teeth and keep reading.
If I thought for even a second that I could keep you safe, I would. But Timofey is the only reason I’m alive. He’s the only reason I survived long enough to have you. I trust him with my life, and I trust him with yours. I hope you come to love him even half as much as I do.
You might be tempted to come look for me or your biological dad one day. But… don’t. In another world, I’d love nothing more, but it’s not safe for you. Don’t try to find us, and don’t look into either of our lineages. Some secrets are better left buried. One day, maybe, I’ll be able to come to you. I’ll get to know you. But not until a few important things happen.
“What important things?” I growl, clenching the edges of the paper in my fists. I want to shake it as if I might be able to shake an explanation out of Emily.
Rodion is an asshole. I know why she wouldn’t want him to raise Benjamin, but even he wouldn’t hurt his own son.
I love you, Benjamin. Please know that. I don’t regret a single thing that has led up to you. I’d do it all exactly the same so long as it meant that you existed. No matter who your father is… or your grandfather is… you are my son. I’m so proud of you.
I reread the last few lines again and again.
Emily doesn’t know her parents. Rodion doesn’t either, as far as I know. Which grandfather is she talking about?
Noelle clears her throat. “Wayne told me they think Emily knew who Rodion’s father was.”
I look up at her, and she’s watching me closely. “Who?”
“I don’t know.” She holds up both hands. “I swear I don’t.”
Emily never told me anything. Rodion didn’t, either. Sergey took Rodion in as a favor to his mother. He gave him a job and a purpose because he felt bad for him. If Sergey knew who Rodion’s father was, he would have told me… right?
I read the letter again.
It’s not safe for people to know who your father is.
Don’t look into either of our lineages. Some secrets are better left buried.
“No,” I breathe as pieces of a puzzle I didn’t know I was solving start to come together. “It’s not—That isn’t possible.”
Even as the thought solidifies in my mind, I’m sure it’s not possible. There is no way.
Noelle takes a step back. “Maybe I should—should I go?”
I ignore her and move into the sitting room. I pull my phone from my pocket.
Piper’s missed call is still on the screen, and I swipe it away. Instead, I call Sergey. Even in my phone, I have him listed under his first name.
“I need to talk to you,” I bark into the line. “Come to the mansion now.”
