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After everything she has been through, I wouldn’t be surprised. Even the sanest person could crack under that type of pressure.
Then again, Noelle is smart. There’s a reason she was able to pull one over on me and Timofey. And honestly, it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to fake something like this. She could pretend to be in the throes of some psychotic episode to keep the Albanians off her back. Crazy people are as good as dead ones in terms of keeping a secret. Even if she does spout off about the truth, no one would believe her.
Slowly, I lower myself to the edge of the bed. “I’m not here to hurt you, Noelle—inside or out. I’m here to help.”
“No one can help,” she whispers.
“I can. If you let me.”
I’m not sure it’s true, but I do want to help. Noelle has messed up, and I’ll never trust her again. But I don’t want her to die. I don’t want her to suffer.
I reach out and lay a hand on her shoulder.
Noelle jerks like I’ve electrocuted her. She flinches back and, finally, her eyes land on me.
They are wide, her pupils as vacuous black holes, eating away any color in her irises. “… Piper?”
“Yeah, it’s me, Nono. I’m here.”
She blinks, and I see a flicker of the woman I know. “What are you doing here?” She reaches up and pats down the mess of hair on top of her head, suddenly self-conscious.
That bit of self-consciousness tips the scales towards this all being real. Noelle doesn’t want to be seen as weak, even now.
“I’m here to help you. Your mom is worried about you.”
“She called you?” she gasps. “She told you I was here?”
“No. I came looking. She didn’t tell anyone.”
She blows out a relieved breath. “I’m supposed to be hiding, but… I guess it wasn’t a good choice.”
“No one else is looking for you, as far as I know.”
“Timofey?” She swallows nervously.
I shake my head. “He’s not looking for you. He’s only looking for Kreshnik.”
But if Timofey knew what I know—if he felt what I feel—he’d be talking to Noelle, too. If he thought for even a second Benjamin was still alive, he’d be here with me.
Since he can’t have the hope I do, I’m here for the both of us.
Suddenly, Noelle drops her face into her hands and weeps. It’s sudden and violent. For a second I can’t even move. I just sit and watch.
Then I gently pat her back. She feels thinner than I remember. Her ribs visibly protrude through the thin t-shirt she’s wearing.
“I swore to myself I’d never come back here,” she sobs. “My whole life was about getting out of this apartment, making something of myself, and living a better life. I wanted that for me and my mom. But… look at me now.”
“You did get out of here. You had an apartment and—”
“One I stole to get!” She looks up at me, fire in her eyes. “My whole life… Everything was a lie.”
“Not… not everything.”
I think back to all the girls’ nights I had with Noelle and Ashley. All of the long lunches on hard days and the nights Noelle showed up at my place with a weeping Ashley and a pint of ice cream.
Was that a lie?
Noelle shakes her head. “All of it. I fucked up.”
