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I peek one eye open. “Aren’t you going to agree with me? I wouldn’t blame you if you did. You looked me in the face and told me exactly what was going on, but I refused to see it.”
“Sometimes, love makes us stupid,” he says simply. “And you still love Noelle.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t. I don’t know who she is anymore. I don’t—”
“Some habits are hard to break. You love who she used to be. It will take time for you to figure out who she is now. Who she really is.”
The weight on my chest eases. It’s like, word by word, Timofey is stitching the broken pieces of me back together.
“She’s so selfish.” I swipe tears from my cheeks. “I don’t even think she feels bad about what she did to Benjamin. She only cares about herself. I don’t know how I never saw that in her before. How did I miss it?”
“The same way I missed that Sergey is the person who killed Emily.”
I glance up, and Timofey’s mouth is twisted to one side. It takes all of his willpower to stay calm and blow out a steadying breath.
“Even once I had all of the proof in my hand, I didn’t really believe it until he looked in my face and admitted it.” He shrugs. “Love and connection… it can blind you to the truth. It makes you see the world through rose-colored glasses.”
I glide my thumb over the backs of his knuckles, slowly cresting and dipping between each of his fingers. “Having feelings for someone isn’t all bad, though… is it?”
The anger in Timofey’s face ebbs. His eyes brighten, and the way he is looking at me makes me flush from head to toe. I want to call the doctor back in and have her take my blood pressure now. It must be through the roof.
“No, it’s not all bad. You care about me. It makes you have faith where I don’t.” He dips down and presses his nose to my cheekbone. I feel his breath warm against my skin. “If there is any chance at all that Benjamin is alive, no matter how slim, I have to look into it. I’m going to see this through to the bitter end with you, Piper.”
“Really?”
He nods. “I have men combing through surveillance footage around the property and neighborhood from the night he was taken, including some of the common Xhuvani hangouts. There’s also a contingent questioning Albanian allies and acquaintances. If anyone has seen or heard anything about Benjamin, we’ll find out about it.”
“But when did you—How? When did you change your mind?”
“The moment I went back into that hovel and you were gone.” He unfurls my hand along the sharp line of his jawbone and tips his head into my palm. “If you believed that fiercely, then it was worth looking into.”
“Do you believe me, then? You think Benjamin is alive?”
He sighs. “No. I don’t.” I start to frown, but he turns his face and kisses my palm. “I know you want me to have the kind of faith that you do, but I don’t, Piper. I think Benjamin is… He’s gone. Kreshnik isn’t the kind to pull his punches. If he had the opportunity to strike, he would.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “That’s what Noelle thinks, too. She doesn’t think there is any hope. I’m being stupid for—”
Suddenly, Timofey’s mouth is on mine. His lips are firm and insistent. He curls his hand around my neck and holds me to him. He kisses me until the ache in my chest dissipates and my thoughts feel hazy and far away.
When he pulls back, he looks into my eyes. “I’m going to do everything I can to look for Benjamin. Then I’m going to do everything I can to track down Noelle.No onegets to make you feel stupid for caring, Piper. That’s the best fucking thing about you. You care so damn much.”
I blink away tears. “I care about you.”
I confessed to Noelle that I loved Timofey, but I can’t quite summon the words now. It’s fine.
He knows.
42
TIMOFEY
Piper sleeps all day.
After we got home from the emergency room, I tucked her into my bed. She fell straight to sleep, and aside from one barely conscious bowl of soup and a bathroom break, she hasn’t budged.
Late afternoon sun slants across my bedroom. Stripes of it warm the comforter. I’m lying next to Piper in bed, a book open on my lap that I haven’t read a single sentence from in hours.
She’s too fucking beautiful.
