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All I ever wanted was to love and grow up with my sister to keep her safe, and now we are strangers.
It’s so odd how you can go from knowing everything about a person to knowing nothing, from best friends to strangers. The love you have for them is still there, but there is a chasm between you, filled with everything that has happened, and both sides fight not to fall in.
Sighing, I throw myself down on the bed like I had done countless times in my childhood. My hands automatically go up and under the pillow, but I freeze when the fingers of my left hand touch something. Flipping, I lift the pillow and slowly extract the slip of paper.
It’s a torn out, lined page that’s haphazardly folded. Sitting up cross-legged, I slowly open it. The edges are jagged where it was ripped out of a notebook, but the sloppy handwriting is more familiar than my own.
Ana.
I miss you, Nova.
That’s all it says. I reread the sloppy, black inked words over and over. The paper is yellow from age, yet it still has the power to break me.
My heart cracks, and the yawning abyss finally takes over as tears fill my eyes and slowly slide down my cheeks.
Gripping the page, I hold it to my heart and close my eyes.
“I missed you too, Ana bug,” I whisper brokenly. “More than you could ever know.”
TWENTY-FOUR
Not wanting to leave Nova alone here, especially after we forced her to come back to a place that hurts her, I venture upstairs. The place is dull, over the top and filled with stuff, but dull. There’s no life here, and I can almost feel the pain and heartache. At the top of the stairs, I hear a little noise and turn right, following it. I stop at the doorway to her bedroom where she sits on the bed, holding a crumpled piece of paper with tears in her eyes, and I swear internally.
Feeling like shit for interrupting, I begin to turn away when she wipes her tears and her head jerks up to find me. I lean harder into the door, crossing my arms. I won’t let her see my worry or my pain—pain caused by hers, the very same one we all carry.
Her agony is so much more, though, because she lost her sister in the process. We had no one to lose, but she did.
“Are you okay?” I ask softly.
Swallowing, she folds the note in her hand and looks down at it before her shoulders slump. That usual, cocky force of nature persona is gone, and in its place is the scared, broken little girl her father created here. “No, not really.”
“Can I do anything?” I inquire honestly, and in this moment, I would do anything to see her smile again and help her rebuild her walls. If I could tear this place down for her, I would, but we know how to endure pain for the greater good, and that’s what she’s doing right now: enduring her nightmares to stop this and save others, even as her shoulders sag from the weight of it.
Shaking her head, she wipes at her face before standing, pocketing the piece of paper, and looking around the room. “It used to be my sanctuary. He wouldn’t come in here. It was the only few hours of peace I ever had. Ana and I played here, and I read her bedtime stories. I used to do these elaborate voices and act it out for her. Sometimes, it was the only thing I would say all day. This was the only room in this house where I was happy. Now it’s just cold and empty like the rest of this fucking torture mansion.” Looking at me, she smiles sadly. “I shouldn’t complain. At least I got a house and a sister, while you guys—”
I shake my head and move closer. “Do not compare pain. Ours doesn’t detract from yours or vice versa. We were hurt by the same sick man, and we are allowed to hate him and what he did, to suffer from it in whatever way we need to survive.” I place my hands on her shoulders, and she leans into me. “But you do not have to do it alone anymore.”
Looking up at me through her lashes, she searches my face, and the expression painted across her features kick-starts my heart until it’s racing as I stare back.
“What if we can’t stop this?” she finally whispers.
“We have to,” I murmur equally as soft, our whispers creating a barrier around us. “We are the only ones strong enough to. We didn’t get to pick our lives, but we can still take a stand to stop this and save others. Afterwards, we can be whoever we want.”
“But that’s not true, is it?” She sighs and looks away for a moment, and I instantly miss her eyes, almost slumping from the force of her gaze being removed from me, searching my very soul. “We will still be the same fucked-up, overtrained people. There’s no place in society for us, so where do we go then? Where do we belong in a world we protected from an evil they didn’t even know about?”
“Together,” I reply instantly, not even knowing where it came from.
Her eyes jerk back to mine, searching them in shock. I meant all of us, but deep down, I also meant that she belonged at my side. I don’t know if it’s our trauma that is pulling us together or the strength she exudes that makes me unable to leave her, but since the moment we met, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Nova. This mission is the most important thing to me, as well as keeping my men alive, but she snuck her way in there, winding through my body and heart so quietly, I didn’t even notice until I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
I have shouldered the burden of leading our people, of protecting them in any way I could, since I was young, but with her, I feel like a man, just a man, standing before a woman he likes.
A lot.
With her, I am not Louis the leader, the freak the military fears, or the experiment her father saw. I am just a man, and she sees him like no other ever has. For a moment, I allow myself to be weak, and my eyes drop to her lips, which part on an inhale. I wonder not for the first time what it would be like to kiss this wildcat, this living tornado, and taste the pain and beauty on her lips.
“Boss man!” The echo of Jonas’s voice has me stepping back and dropping my hands to my side.
The desire pushes back and is replaced with a business-like demeanour. Her lashes close for a moment, and when her eyes open again, the same determination I feel is reflected there.
