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Nico snores, making me turn with a grin. He’s cramped up on a tiny chair, snoring happily away, with his head back and one leg bent up uncomfortably. His other leg is thrown over the edge, and one arm hangs down. The other is under his head. Jonas shakes his head and goes back to cleaning the weapons. Dimitri and Louis are on the computers, checking our trail and locating the next stop as well as hacking security cameras and planning in case anything goes wrong. I was helping out, but my eyes are almost crossing. I’m not made for computers. Shaking my head, I grab the blanket that’s neatly folded on the sofa and drape it across Nico, tucking him in before wandering to the bedroom to find Isaac curled up there, fast asleep.
We are supposed to take turns sleeping, and it’s not mine, but I need a break from the screens and from . . . everything. It’s all so much. I feel like I’ve not had a moment alone since they invaded my life, and although it’s been for the better, and we have important things to do, I know I need some quiet time and space to regroup. I need to build up the barriers around myself again that protect me from being hurt, the very ones they have been smashing down since day one with soft smiles, teasing words, and protective hands.
They make it very hard for a girl not to fall for them, but I can’t. I know that. We can have our fun and enjoy every moment until our pasts catch up with us, but people like us aren’t made for love, and we don’t get a happily ever after. We just get now.
Reminding myself of that, I slip into the bathroom and decide to run a bath to ease my aching muscles.
There are fancy ass toiletries on the side, so I fill the bath with them before stripping and stepping into the hot running water. I groan as I sink into it, my head falling back as I drape my arms on either side, letting the warm water wash away today and my worries.
Once we destroy everything my father built, we will go our own separate ways, right? If I am not careful, I will miss them something fierce. I’m not used to being alone anymore. I look for them in the silence, letting their laughter wash over me and their smiles ease my concerns.
I lean on them and trust them, and when they are gone, I will be alone again, which means before then, I need to protect myself so when they leave, it won’t break me. I can admit to myself that they could destroy me in a way Father never did. With their kind eyes and friendship, they filled a hole in me I didn’t know I had, and although they wouldn’t mean to, they would break that last part of my soul and take it with them. But they deserve to live and find happiness when this is over, and this cannot last.
We were brought together by my father, by our trauma, but it won’t be enough to stay together.
I will only have me at the end, and I remind myself of that over and over, even when I hear Jonas laughing with them and Nico’s snores.
Slowly, my thoughts settle as I turn off the tub, just soaking and allowing myself to rebuild as the night passes.
My eyes open, and my heart freezes when I see Louis turned in his chair, his eyes locked on me. The whole world falls away as I stare into his eyes that are so hungry, I actually shiver in the tub. Dimitri is oblivious, and so is Jonas, so it’s just Louis and I locked in a stare before his eyes very purposely drop to my exposed breasts and then crawl back up to mine.
When he turns away, I gasp and slump, free of his gaze. Shaking off my lust-filled thoughts, I submerge myself under the bubbly water, trying to remind myself to protect my heart from them.
Even if they are set on stealing it.
FORTY-TWO
“Get some sleep,” Louis orders the others. “We begin in the morning.”
Groaning, Jonas drags Dimitri out, Nico following with a yawn. Isaac smiles at me and kisses my cheek.
Louis turns to me. “We will take the first watch. I’ll keep an eye on the hallway cameras, and you can keep watch on the target location. Let me know if anyone comes or goes.”
I nod and sit next to him, curling up in the long shirt I stole from one of them. My wet hair is plastered to my back as I focus on the screen before me. Nothing much happens, just the same old building we have been reconning all day, and an hour or so later, Louis brings me coffee, and we keep watch, protecting our family.
Staring at the screen eventually gets boring, so I look at Louis, watching the play of light on his handsome, sharp features. His hair looks darker in this light, and his eyes appear tired.
He feels my gaze, and his lips quirk up, but he doesn’t look at me. “Problem, Nova?”
“Just looking.” I grin, unable to help it. “Seems only fair since you got a good look at me.”
His head swings to me slowly, his eyes gleaming with amusement and lust that he doesn’t even try to hide. His gaze drops to my body again. “You wanted me to watch.”
As soon as he says it, I realise he’s right. “Maybe, and you want me to stare, talk to you, and tease you, or you would have had any of the others in here with me.”
“Maybe I was just keeping an eye on trouble.” He grins, flashing white teeth as he leans in. “And you are trouble, baby, down to the core.”
“Yet you can’t stay away,” I murmur knowingly. He leans back, glancing at the screen before turning slightly to take both me and it in.
“Maybe not, or maybe I just want to keep you away from them.” I flinch, but he doesn’t hold back. “I see them with you, and, well, you are a part of this family, and I will always protect you, and them, from this.”
“This?” I swallow, confused at the turn this took.
“You.” He takes my hand and won’t let me drop it when I try, yanking me closer. I fight him, and he lifts me and pins me between his body and the table.
Stilling, I glare at him. “I don’t want to hurt them. I’m not my father,” I snarl, darkness clawing at me.
As if he can see it, he pinches my chin until I focus on him and his words. “I never said you were. I know you are nothing like that monster, but you don’t see it, Nova. We were just heartless men searching for purpose, and you have given them hope. You bind us tighter than ever before, and yes, that terrifies me. Not for me, but for them. It is my job to protect them. I pulled them from their cells and promised them revenge and protection, and I will always protect them, even over my own wants. You have the ability to hurt them, Nova, and you know it.”
