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“So, I heard that cheating ex of yours is getting remarried,” Greer tells me as he pops the top on a bottle of beer and slides it in front of me on the bar counter.
“How did you find out about Laurel’s wedding?”
“Overheard whispering at the grocery store,” he says as he wipes up the spilled beer on the counter with his rag. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah? Is she marrying the man she cheated on you with?”
“No clue. What does it matter?”
He shrugs and throws his rag over his shoulder like the stereotypical bartender he is. “I don’t know. I guess I would want all the details. You’re not the least bit curious?”
“Not really. I know his name is John, but that’s it,” I say, remembering it from my lunch with Lyla.
“I would want to see the man who filled my shoes, if you know what I mean.”
“You think I’m insecure about the random guy who replaced me? We weren’t even together that long.”
“Then you’re a better man than I am. Because if I got fucked over by an ex like that, while I was in the service, well, I would raise a little hell.”
“Well, I’m not now.”
“You have been pretty damn grouchy lately,” he says.
“You’re always grouchy.”
“Yeah, because I’m struggling to keep my shitty business up and running in a small town. I’ve got bills coming out of my asshole and haven’t had a night off in…fuck if I can remember. The only sex I have is quickies in the stock room with…”
“With whom?” I ask when he stops short of naming them.
“No one. My point is, you’re in a better position than I am.”
I decide to let his secret booty call go, at least for now.
“Oh yeah? I don’t have a job, I still live at home with my brother and father, and I haven’t had sex in…years.”
“Years?” he repeats. “You haven’t had sex inyears? Why not?”
“Why not what?”
“Why haven’t you hooked up with anyone, you know, just to get it out of your system before your balls burst?”
“There’s no one I want to just hook up with, and I sure as shit don’t want another relationship.”
“Understandable. You got screwed over by the woman who broke her vows. But take it from me – a hookup now and then can do wonders for your mental health.”
I decide not to bring up the fact that my dick has lost its will to live. I’ve been celibate for so long that my sex organs may have shriveled up. I can’t remember the last time I even had an erection.
“I don’t know if I could do casual sex,” I admit instead. “My brothers lived that life before they settled down. It seems like moretrouble than it’s worth if you accidently knock up someone you barely know or catch a nasty disease.”
“You’re only focusing on the downsides. You’re a grown man – just be careful, and none of that is a problem. You need to think about all the upsides.” Greer begins counting off on his fingers. “One, it feels fantastic. Two, it’s good for your self-esteem. And three, it clears your head, and four, did I mention that it feels fucking fantastic,” he finishes with a grin. “Has it really been so long that you’ve forgotten how good it is?”
“Maybe? I’ve only ever had actual sex with one woman…”
“Jesus Christ, man. Are you serious? You married the woman you lost your virginity to?”
“Yeah, so? There was one blowjob before her.”
