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“Ah,” he says again. “That might be your problem.”
“What? What is my problem?”
“Your situation with Thane sounds lopsided. Maybe he thought you were only in it for the sex – you know, for your own pleasure. What about his?”
“He came. A lot. We did all sorts of things. I sucked his dick, and that’s not something I ever thought I would do.”
“But you tried it because you liked him, cared about him and his pleasure?”
“Yeah.”
“So why not try the other things?”
“I don’t know. I just…I might be willing to try it in the future, but I’m not ready yet.”
“Did you tell him there was a future possibility that you would let him fuck you?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I might change my mind and never be ready to do that.”
“You’re allowed to change your mind, RJ. Nobody is going to make you take it up the ass. But in a relationship, you have to be willing to consider it for the person you love. Remember when I told you that if he caved and agreed to bottom for you, it meant he really cared about you?”
“Yeah,” I answer. He just stares at me until I finally get it. “Oh.”
“Thane probably wanted you to try and meet him halfway. Give a little since he was giving you the whole kit and caboodle.”
“The whole what?”
“Everything. He was offering you everything and likely wanted a little from you in exchange.”
“So you don’t think I fucked up the sex; I just fucked up by not giving in to things I don’t want to do.”
“You seriously haven’t ever thought about letting him be in charge, dominate you a little, feel him inside of you?”
“I…I don’t know.” I did get turned on the night we met when he covered my mouth and slammed me against the port-a-potty.
“You think it’s too gay if you get pounded? That you’re not as macho or masculine?”
I shrug since I’m not sure how to explain it.
“Do you still think of Thane as a strong, manly man after you pounded him?”
“Hell yes. That’s the problem. It would be so much easier if he were a woman.”
“There you go!”
“What?”
“We’ve made it to the root of the problem. Your only hang-ups with Thane are that he’s a guy. You’re a guy, and he’s a guy, RJ. That’s not going to change. So, if you want to be with him, you have to be all in, not halfway like a selfish dick.”
“Wow, Jordan. I’m not sure if I should hit you or hug you. How are you so young and so smart about this shit?”
Grinning, he says, “I watch a lot of Dr. Phil.”
“Who is Dr. Phil?”
