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“I said I shouldn’t want you, not that I didn’t.”
Rubbing my forehead in frustration, I tell him, “You’re making me fucking dizzy, man.”
“I miss you.”
My hand on my head drops like a dead weight. “You miss me?”
“Yes.”
“Like what specifically do you miss? My mouth?”
“That and other parts…”
“Other body parts?” Wow. I knew it. It was just about the sex.
“It’s more than that.”
“Go on, then. Let’s hear it.” I take a seat on the sofa and motion for him to continue.
“You want me to, like, say the other things I miss?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Fine.” He starts pacing back and forth, all two steps, in front of the sofa. “Let’s see. I miss seeing you every day. I miss your mouth on mine. I miss your hands on me, grabbing handfuls of my hair like you can’t get close enough to me. I miss the way you look at me for more than two seconds like you need me and only me. That’s why I blush, because I like the way you look at me, and I shouldn’t.”
“Would you please stop saying you ‘shouldn’t’? I shouldn’t have fallen for a fucking straight man, but I did. You decide to do shit in this life. You, RJ. Not your dad or your brothers. You. You should do what you want.”
“I want…I want to be with you.”
“Good, because I want to be with you too.”
“You do?”
“Hell yes. But are you ready to be out in the open, though? Because I came out to Isaac. The entire MC and town will know soon. If we’re seen together, everyone will figure it out.”
“So? I’ve already told Remy. Jordan knows. And Lyla. She doesn’t think Barrett will care. So that just leaves Colt, because fuck my dad. Remy raised me, not him, so I don’t care what names he calls me.”
“RJ,” I say softly. “You told Remy?”
“Yeah.”
“When? Tonight?”
“No. The night I was in the ER.”
The night in the ER when I kept calling him to check on him?
“So he knew after he saw all of my missed calls on your phone?”
“No, I told him when he brought up that he didn’t want me to be alone that night since Bear would be with Lyla. I told him he didn’t have to stay because I knew you would be there with me.”
“Oh. So, he knew before we…”
“Fucked?” RJ supplies. “About that. I’ve been thinking, and I can try things with you. For you. I don’t want you to hold back because I’m scared.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, RJ.”
“I know that. But I want to do everything with you because I love you.”
