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“Done what? Come so fast? It happens to the best of us.”
“No. That’s not what I meant, even though it’s true.” I hold my breath, waiting for the inevitable, for RJ to add that he’s not gay, he was drunk, it won’t happen again. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about us after last night.”
He doesn’t want me to get the wrong idea about us?
So, last night was a little one-sided. Or completely one-sided. I don’t care. As long as he’s mostly naked in my bed, I’ll suck him off as much as he wants. But apparently, he’s saying he doesn’t want it to happen again.
“Are you seriously giving me the one-night stand, it won’t happen again speech? I have to say I was expecting the I’m-not-gay excuse first.”
RJ is silent as his palm begins to slide up and down his abs again. “I’m not sure if that applies to me anymore.”
Wait. What?
“So, you’re admitting that you’re bisexual, maybe?” I ask, which would be a huge win in my book. It would mean RJ doesn’t think last night was a mistake or a regret, which means there’s a chance it could happen again.
“I wouldn’t get hard as a rock when I see you if I was completely straight, right?” he asks the ceiling.
“You get hard when you see me?” I blurt out in surprise.
“Sometimes. Most of the time,” he admits. His confession would’ve blown my fucking socks off if I were wearing any. I thought the night we met was a fluke and last night he was just horny. I didn’t know he’s been turned on just being around me.
“So, you’re admitting that you’re…” I search for the best word so that I don’t overstate anything. “You’re attracted to me?”
“Isn’t that obvious after my dick exploded down your throat last night?”
“I thought you were just drunk and pretending my mouth was a woman’s.”
RJ shakes his head, then looks over at me again. “I wasn’t drunk or pretending you were someone else. I knew it was you the entire time. Watching your mouth take me so deep, hell, that made it the best, most intense blowjob of my life.”
“Seriously?” Best, most intense? I wasn’t even giving a hundred percent. I was being gentle, careful not to move too fast and run him off.
“Yes, but it’s not going to happen again.”
Well, damn. I knew it was coming and only a matter of time before he busted my happy bubble. “Because?” I ask, needing an explanation after how good he said it was for him.
“Because I…I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me. Us.”
“You don’t want me to think I’m gonna get anything from you in return?”
“Right. It was great for me, but I hate that I didn’t – can’t – do anything for you. That’s why we shouldn’t do it again.”
I study RJ’s face, then his perfect, amazing body. A body plenty of women have probably experienced in a way I never will. But his explanation doesn’t sound like it’s something new for him. He’s done this song and dance before, maybe not in the exact way since he’s probably done plenty of things to women. For them during sex. If so, that’s all it was for him, though.
“Have you ever had a girlfriend?”
“No. Why?” he asks.
“Do you ever hook up with a girl more than once?”
“Ah, not usually, no.”
“Why not?”
“Ah, the same reason I just gave you. I don’t want them to think I’m something that I’m not. I’m not boyfriend material, much less husband or father material.”
He’s beautiful, kind, tough, fun to be around, and runs a successful business. The man is a catch. I’m sure all those women at the bar last night would agree. Why doesn’t he think that’s true?
“Why do you say that you’re not boyfriend material?”
