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Seeing the disappointment cause RJ’s shoulders to slump almost makes me stop and consider it for more than a second. But no. Nope. I can’t give that kind of trust to anyone.
“It’s just a porno, Thane.”
“Do you want to be a bottom, RJ?”
“Hell no,” he says without hesitation.
“So we both know where we stand. If we’re not going to fuck, then maybe we should stop fooling around.”
“You want to stop?”
“May as well before we both get our hopes up for more.”
“Okay. If that’s what you want.”
Wow. He caved easily enough.
“Okay. Glad that’s resolved.”
“Yeah, it’s too bad. I mean, me too. I’m glad it’s resolved.”
I start to leave but stop with my hand on the doorknob, unable to unlock or open it. What the hell am I doing? Walking away from RJ feels…impossible. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but I’m just so frustrated that he doesn’t care enough about me to try things he’s uncomfortable with. It’s not his fault for getting my hopes up; it’s mine. “I love being with you, RJ, but I just need more,” I tell him truthfully.
“I know. You would want me to give you…”
“Head. Yeah. And you don’t want to ever do that either, right?”
I wait for his refusal so I can leave. Instead, he says, “I would suck at it.”
Dropping my hand from the door, I turn around to face him. “What do you mean? That you would suck at sucking my dick?”
“Yes.”
“I seriously doubt that, RJ. A little lick of your tongue down there and I would probably come all over your face.”
He swallows so hard I can see his Adam’s apple bob. “So, I wouldn’t have to swallow it, your cum?”
“Nah. Most girls don’t, right?” I ask, even though I have no idea. I’ve just heard some of the guys at the clubhouse bitching about their women not taking their loads down their throats. I wasn’t sure if I would want to either until the other night with RJ. I wanted everything he would give me.
“Girls are about fifty-fifty on swallowing in my experience.”
My teeth grind together as I force myself not to think about how many women have sucked RJ’s dick. “See? It’s not a big deal. Was that your only holdup?”
“I don’t want to try it and look stupid.”
“You won’t look stupid, RJ,” I assure him. “You hadn’t touched another man’s dick before mine, right?”
“My own, so I had a lot of experience,” he says with a smile.
“I didn’t have any experience before your birthday,” I remind him. “I was nervous, worried I was bad at it, or you wouldn’t like it.”
“What’s not to love about getting your dick sucked?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“Oh. Right. You’ve never…”
“Other than the lack of experience, you would consider trying it sometime?”
