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“It’s good to see you, buddy,” he said more in passing as he shifted his angry gaze to the barn. “Phoenix has done a real good job of turning this place around.”
“It was doing just fine until his father purposely fucked it up.”
“Yeah, well, the man is dead.” He chuckled after making the statement. “We’re all getting older. You know? We need to bury the past.”
“Just like we buried Belle?” Only we didn’t. There’d been too much carnage left over from the horrific fire to sift through rubble in an attempt to discover her bones. She had a tombstone but no casket. That would have suited her just fine given she’d been such a free spirit.
He tensed, taking another pull on his beer. “You need to get over it.”
“Said the man who ran away.”
Houston snapped his head in my direction, crowding my space. When he fisted one hand, I snarled.
“Okay, whoa. None of that shit,” Phoenix growled from behind me. “This is a party. If you guys can’t behave, then fucking leave.”
“It’s my party,” Houston insisted.
“Things can change, buddy,” Phoenix added. “Seriously. We need to celebrate the good times.”
Whatever they were.
“Fine,” I quipped then started to turn away.
Houston grabbed my arm then held his out for a handshake. “Let’s try and remember we were friends once.”
I slowly lowered my gaze, taking a deep breath. Then I accepted the gesture. “Yeah, we were. So, smokejumping. That seems like a stretch.”
“It’s what I gotta do.”
I could tell he didn’t want to talk about his reasons why. The moment was awkward, a knot forming in my gut.
We both heard a loud voice coming from a microphone then dozens of cheers. “Colt.”
“The big star,” Houston muttered. “He’s with a different woman every photograph. I don’t know how he does it cause he’s not that good looking.”
I snorted beer, almost choking. Colt had been the good-looking one, always singing even then. “Well. Things change. Right?”
We both laughed. Then his expression changed, the same kind of darkness reflected in the mirror every morning crossing his face. “I lost my fiancée in a fire early last year. I was devastated. You don’t really appreciate life and the special moments until you don’t have them anymore.” His words were unexpected, catching me off guard. Huffing, he threw me a look. “Not what you were expecting, huh?”
I had no idea what I’d anticipated with him returning to town, but this wasn’t it.
“I’m sorry, man.”
“I tried to save her. You know?” he asked, although it wasn’t a question that needed an answer. “I did what I could, going back into the house twice, but it was too late. We were going to be married in two months to the day. She had the dress. The location was paid for. Hell, we’d even picked out the cake together.” He half laughed but the sound of his pain tore at what was left of the man inside.
“I know you, Houston. You did your best.”
“Did I?” He turned to face me once again. “I’ve played over in my mind how I’d do things differently so many times the images never leave me. Just like with Belle.” He lifted his head, searching my eyes. Maybe I’d been wrong. All six of us were damaged goods, incapable of allowing closure.
“Yeah. I have no doubt you tried to be a hero.”
Just saying the word seemed foreign, biting. I wasn’t good with trying to console anyone.
“Well, you were certainly a hero. You saved two innocent victims. Good for you.”
“That’s why you became a smokejumper, to try and be a hero?” I asked.
He bristled once again then sighed. “Maybe a little. Maybe to ease my conscience. I don’t know. Maybe I’m more like you than I want to admit. We take risks without thinking them through. We act like we’re going to live forever, but the clock is ticking, buddy. Take it from me. Accolades and awards mean nothing if you don’t have someone to share it with. You know?”
