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“My parents thought they were burying me. Several of my friends were there mourning my death and I was lying in a hospital bed unable to remember my goddamn name. The fuckers switched my dog tags. So one family was left hopeful and the other in despair. I can’t imagine how much my mom suffered.”
“Then she celebrated when you returned.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I wish I could help you bring back your memories or take away the mental anguish, but only you can do that with the help of true professionals.”
“You sell yourself short, Chasity. You’ve been the only person who made sense out of the muck I was drowning myself in. Last night? That was after I realized in my ridiculous fury that I’d covered my dog, the one who survived his own torturous experiences, with paint. I could have killed him because I’m so fucking mad at the world. That dog loves me more than anything. I don’t have any understanding of why. I don’t walk him enough. I don’t buy him a lot of toys. Hell, his favorite thing to do is to play ball outside and I don’t remember the last time I did that with him. I feed him. I give him water. He has a soft bed. That’s it. I think I’m going to give him back to Mustang.”
I was forced to take several deep breaths after issuing more words than I’d said at one time in as long as I could remember.
The woman with a heart of gold remained quiet, which meant I’d shocked the hell out of her. I almost stood and walked away, but the moment she placed her hand on mine, I was able to exhale.
“When I was in Afghanistan, I treated a wounded soldier, holding his hand after he’d been brought in. He was clinging to life, fighting with everything he had. He begged me not to leave him and even though it was one of the worst days my team had experienced, I managed to stay with him.”
“What happened?”
“He died, at least he was declared brain dead for ten minutes. When he was resuscitated, the doctors were certain he was brain dead, but I kept talking to him, encouraging him to wake up. I spent hours doing so, long into the night. I’d never felt so helpless in my life.”
I cocked my head, studying her face. “And?”
She took a deep breath, looking away. “He recovered, no permanent damage. He was so thankful that he had a new lease on life. It was amazing to see how happy he was. About three weeks later, he was transferred stateside. I cried when he left because I was so happy for him.”
“A beautiful story.” But it wasn’t the one I was hoping she would tell me.
“It was. Then I heard through my supervisor that three weeks later he walked into his parents’ house, slaughtering them and his younger sister.” She slowly turned her head toward me, and I was forced to take a deep breath. “There are several horrible, tragic stories. I don’t want yours to be one of them.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I pushed you because I don’t want you to fall into that kind of despair. You’re an amazing man who deserves every chance at happiness and if you hate me because I want the best for you, then fine. I’ll accept that. One piece of advice I hope you’ll take. Don’t give Apollo away. The reason he loves you with all his furry heart is because you rescued him from one of the worst situations imaginable. He knows what’s in your heart. He doesn’t need toys. He only needs you and your love.”
When she was the one who got up, heading toward the water, I was floored by her words, but even more by what was in her heart. And I’d never felt like such an ass in my entire life. I watched her for a little while, sipping on the wine as I tried to figure out what to say to her. I gulped down the rest, tossing the plastic into the bag. When I finally walked to just a foot behind her, she didn’t act as if she’d registered my presence, but I could tell by the extreme electricity we’d shared from minute one that she had to know I was standing right behind her.
“I want to be there with you,” she said, her tone jabbing another knife into my gut.
“The exhumation?”
“His funeral.”
I hadn’t really thought about going but she was right that I should. Maybe some of the demons would abate. Whatever my situation, the Marine deserved a proper sendoff. “I’d like that.”
She nodded. “I hope one day you can trust me enough to tell me what happened while you were over there, but I will never push you.”
“I do trust you more than I can explain.” Seconds later, I flanked her side, staring down at the water. “This is my favorite place in the world. I came here as a child.” Laughing, I realized what I’d just said. “I knew I was bringing you here, but I didn’t know why until now.”
She tipped her head, a slight smile crossing her face. “Then this is a wonderful memory.”
“It is. I’ve spent hours here, although I haven’t stopped by since I got back.”
“With your friends?”
“I never brought anyone here until today. The location brings me peace.”
“It’s just beautiful. You should paint this. Exactly like this.”
“I should, huh?” I asked, trying to shift the conversation to something lighter. The look her on face was serene, the corners of her mouth turning up about the sexiest look I’d seen on her.
Nodding, she darted a look in my direction. “How’s that anger management going?”
