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“Exactly how long do you meditate daily?” I ask.
She blushes. A few cool breezes slide in through the car windows, blessing us with comfort. It’s not hot enough outside this Friday evening for the AC, but perfect for cracked windows.
The sun is down, and the plan is to take Angela to the movie drive-in in Calborn, Illinois, about eight miles away. That can seem far for small-towners but not so bad on my wheels.
“I don’t do it every day,” Angela says. “I do it at least three times a week for about twenty minutes.”
“That’s much better than me.”
“It takes time and practice, like everything.”
I had no idea Angela was so zen. She’s very pretty and a bit too put together for my tastes. Something about her makes me want to be a better me, but there’s also something about her that doesn’t gel with me. I like a little tiger energy, someone with wildness on their sleeve and a little grit to their voices. Of course, Sadie is still on my mind. If I’m not thinking about Dustin, then it’s her.
“Kinda like the gym for me.”
“I’m sure!” She takes an eyeful of my chest.
“So you think you’ll stick around in Hillpike?” I ask.
“I like rural towns. They humble me. I was raised in Grand Rapids, Michigan, which was okay, but I like to take my time, and I feel like rural towns know how to move slower. I think we savor life better when we sit in it.”
“You have a point there.”
“Is it true that you’re moving back?”
I shrug. “I’m not sure yet.”
She’s quiet for most of the drive after that. I’m wondering if she feels there’s no point getting to know me if I’m going to leave anytime soon. Either way, if it’s not me initiating a conversation, she’s staring out the window. I’m not a blabbermouth, but I can’t help to feel like one beside her.
Sadie was filled with random talk. She often had questions, but to me, questions are necessary for critical thinkers. Maybe I’m making Angela nervous, and her natural demeanor may be timid. I’m fine with that, but her silence has a little distaste. Or maybe I’m judging myself. Or is it that she’s judging me?
The drive-in movie plays 80’s classics every Friday all summer. It’s cool to talk about how we see these movies differently than we did when we were young. Unlike Sadie, Angela remembers these times, including rewinding cassette tapes with a pencil and standing in line for pay phones to beg parents to pick us up a little later.
The movies they’re showing this evening arePurple RainandCan’t Buy Me Love. Movie dates are good for breaking the ice, especially in the car. Angela is snuggled up in the blue blanket that crazy Sadie covered herself with over a month ago.
It’s not long before I feel like I should make a move. I really don’t want to. There’s something jarring about the “dating rules.” I’m not a fan of this. It wasn’t long ago when I believed I had my family and home. But now, I’m like a fish missing its family in this deep dark sea.
I clear my throat and sip on my coke.
“Are you comfortable?” I ask.
“Yes, thank you.”
I wish I could ring her out like a towel. There’s gotta be something more to her than these proper mannerisms.
“Would you like me to grab you some more popcorn?”
She gives me a smirk. “Yes, please.”
The concession area is the hub of the drive-in. Shaped like a mammoth popcorn box, the building has a red-and-white striped exterior that has aged since I was younger. As expected, it doesn’t look as big as I remember. It’s jammed-packed with random young people from teenagers to sixty-year-olds who want a chance to be around nightlife.
It’s not long before I spot auburn hair and curvy hips. Sadie is here with her friends. Of course, they would drive out to this town. There’s only a handful of things for young, single, childless women to do in Hillpike on the weekends.
Sadie doesn’t see me because I’m several feet behind her. As much as it’s thrilling to be near her, I don’t want her to see me. It’s been a week since Braxton interrupted our intense lovemaking session. Since then, I’ve felt like someone has been following me. Maybe it’s remorse or paranoia around making good choices.
I scratch my neck and take out my phone. If I’m invested in something else, maybe if Sadie sees me, she’ll assume I haven’t seen her yet. This is the best way to navigate this experience until I hear some random voice say, “Hey, Sadie. Isn’t that your dad’s friend?”
I really doubt any of them know about us. I don’t think Sadie would’ve broken her word. I keep my eyes on my phone even as I take several steps closer in line. Sadie and her friends have already ordered and are waiting for their snacks. I can feel the heat coming from their direction; snickers and hushed talking.
