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“Come on,” he says, tugging me into him. I sag against him, my entire body aching as he leads me into the small bathroom. We barely fit inside, and when I look at myself in the small mirror, I see how wrecked I look. Red cheeks, wild eyes.
“Look how hot you are,” he says, reaching over and wetting a washcloth. He gently wipes at my ass, cleaning up the cum that is leaking out of me. I just let him do it, my hands curled against the countertop, as his green eyes watch me.
He leans into me, pressing his lips to my shoulder and his gaze meets mine in the mirror.
“Look at us.”
I do, I fuckinglook. And what a pair we make. I have never been with someone so different, someone so much smaller than me…younger than me. But we look good together. We just…fit, somehow.
“I’m so fucking ready to go explore,” he says, excitement lining his voice as we pull on our clothes and get ready to escape this trailer and walk around the small town.
I love his voraciousness for life, how he just meets things head-on, always ready to try new things, his eyes always wide with excitement. I wish I was like that, I wish I could experience the world like he does, but years of disappointment have eroded it—years of being told I wasn’t good enough, that I needed to do better. Those criticisms take a toll on a person, they slowly crush a spirit. I am half the man I could be, I know it. I know I could be something else entirely if I had never married Karen, if I had come out sooner, if I had made different choices.
Yet, a part of me feels a little more alive when I’m around Quinn, like I can experience the excitement of life through him. He’s breathing new life into me, my spirit that was once withered is starting to bloom. I’m starting to feel like maybe, just maybe there is hope.
Maybe things could end up differently for me. Maybe with Quinn things could be different.
“I wanna see everything,” he says, as we step out of the trailer, his hand in mine. I glance around and see a few people milling about the campsite and blush. Because I’m pretty sure that they heard me getting my ass fucked.
“Don’t worry about them,” Quinn says, reading the blush on my face like a book as we walk to my truck. “They’re just jealous that their love lives are boring as fuck.”
Love.
I rub at my chest as I climb in and start the engine.
This isn’t love.
No, this is just…lust. Lust and bad decisions.
ChapterFourteen
Grey
Thunder rumbles in the distance signaling a summer storm as we make our way through Grand Marais. Quinn is in his element here, his eyes alight with anticipation.
“I want to learn to sail,” he says, our hands intertwined as we walk down the wooden boardwalk which overlooks Lake Superior. “You know how?”
“Nope,” I say and then shrug. “Never got a chance to learn.”
“We could take lessons next summer,” he tells me, pulling his lips between his teeth, the wind moving across the lake, whipping his hair across his cheeks. God, he’s fucking beautiful. I don’t dare tell him that there will be no sailing lessons with me. I don’t dare crush his dreams.
He’s young and happy. Let him have this.
In the distance, I can see the sailboats he’s talking about bobbing in the lake, and for a moment, I let myself wonder what it would be like, letting myself dothiswithhim. And I can feel it, the sensation of being alive coursing through me—before I crush it.
It’s better to always set your expectations low so when the disappointment comes, it’s not so debilitating.
“Don’t do that,” Quinn says softly, moving up against me and wrapping an arm around my waist. “Don’t think those things.”
I eye him, wondering if reading my mind is a superpower of his. Or maybe I make it too easy for him, being so vulnerable and open.
“Let’s go walk the shore and then we can go look in the shops when it starts to rain…if it rains.”
I glance up and see the darkening sky. Those sailboats better get out of the water before the lightning strikes. But my thoughts are derailed as Quinn tugs me down to the sand, his smile wide, his eyes wild.
He’d fuck me right here for all to see if he could. If I’d let him.
God, I’d probably let him.
