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Jasper winces, and a laugh escapes me because he looks horrified.
“She loves you. She heard your voice and came running. You’re basically Temple Grandin.”
“I am not. She is a genius, I just fuck for a living.”
I snort, and Winnie approaches, sniffling at Jasper who recoils.
“Come on, give her a pet and then we can milk her.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“You scared?” I ask, and he bristles, not liking that at all.
“I am afraid of nothing. I touched the cow yesterday.”
“You did,” I say and then move to lower him, but he clings on, glancing down at the ground where Cluck Norris is glowering at us.
“I hate farm animals. They’re all mean. None of them like me.”
“Cluck Norris is just an asshole. He hates everyone.”
I kick my leg out at him, and Cluck Norris cockadoodles at me.
“Let me just put you up here and I’ll grab him and stick him in with the chickens.”
I walk to my right and set Jasper on top of the half door of the barn before chasing after Cluck Norris, the little shit running this way and that, making my job all the harder. But I know his tricks and I finally manage to catch him. He poops in response to being manhandled, but I avoid the mess by pure stealth.
“Yeah, you fucker,” I say as I stick him in the coop. “I know all your tricks. This isn’t my first rodeo.”
He crows his disapproval, but whatever. I’ll let him out in a minute. I just want him to give Jasper a second to be here without being pecked at.
When I return to the place where I’d perched Jasper, I find Winnie leaning up against him, her head in his lap, her big cow body pressed against the wall. I half-expected to find Jasper screaming, but instead, he’s just calmly petting her, not quite sure what to make of it but still unable to help himself.
Just like he is with me, I think as I watch that hand stroke over the cow’s head.
As soon as he sees me leering though, he narrows his gaze at me and his hand stops moving.
“She just inserted herself on my lap. I couldn’t help but pet her.”
A snort escapes me as I move toward them, reaching out to run my hand along her coarse hair. She moos lowly, and Jasper huffs. God, I can’t help but smile at him, just grin like a goofball at this guy who is just so fucking gooey on the inside, despite trying like hell to stay so damn hard. Oh, how I wanted to kiss him. So damn bad. I wonder what he would have done.
Would he have pushed me away? Or would he have gone for it? No doubt he would have blamed it on one thing or another if we did kiss. He would say he was just bored or the fucking moon cycles are messing with him. Anything but the fact that he wanted to kiss me too.
I can feel it.
I’m gonna crack that shell, just obliterate it to pieces.
“Are you just going leave me perched up here, or are you going to help me down?” he asks, still petting Winnie.
I eye his hand, and he rolls his eyes at me.
“Just thought you were having a moment.”
“There was nothing else to do while you chased the rooster around. He shit on you. I saw it.”
“No,” I clarify. “He tried to shit on me. I avoided it like the master I am.”
He cocks his head at me and then asks, “Did you like growing up here, on the farm?”
