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He puffs up. “Iamthat good. But you knew that.”
“Yeah, but never had firsthand experience. I just heard about it. Didn’t know what all the fuss was about until…well, until now.”
“Well, you weren’t half bad yourself.”
I smile at him, buttoning my pants, wiping off my face with the bottom of my shirt, and then pulling him into me. He resists only for a second before melting into me.
“I was phenomenal and you know it.”
He huffs but doesn’t pull away.
“I think you have poop on you,” he says, and I chuckle.
“Yeah, probably. Not sure if this stall has been mucked.”
He pulls his lips in between his teeth and tells me to turn around. I, of course, oblige and he swipes at my back.
And then we grab the cameras and make our way out of the barn, his hand tucked in mine. I like it, I really fucking do. And we have the whole rest of the day together before my mom gets home. I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do after that.
Just gonna lean on Jasper for a little while longer and savor the fact that he’s here with me.
CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
Jasper
“Come on, Jasper, come sit with me on the swing,” Bennet says, and I eye him. It’s late morning and we just got back from our second jaunt downtown where we walked down the main street and explored the various stores. I’d been interested to see what kind of businesses were in this small Kansas town, and Bennet seemed eager to show me. I swear to the gods, I can’t get over how small downtown is.
It had a cafe where it seemed like people were just there to talk rather than eat or grab a quick coffee. Yes, they had that too, but they were just standing around talking, like they had all the time in the world.
We went into this little store that had custom t-shirts, but mostly it was just for the town’s football, basketball, and every single ball sport in this little place. I mean, they buy shirts for high school games here. What is happening?
There was a butcher shop, which I opted out of. I don’t need to see how the sausage is made, thank you very much. And a cute little flower shop that okay, I couldn’t resist grabbing some fresh flowers for the kitchen table. They smell divine.
He also showed me other things too. Like where he gave his first blow job in an alley behind a dumpster—classy, I know. And where he had his first kiss at town hall.
I didn’t need to know those little details, but he provided them anyways. Made me irrationally jealous. I have no claim to him and we’re camboys. It’s not like I don’t know he fucks other people for a living.
But now that I’ve been doing these teasers with him, now that I’ve had these several days alone with him, I’m starting to feel things. Things likehe’s mine.LikeI don’t want anyone else to touch him.
Which is ridiculous, so fucking silly. He’s not mine. He won’t ever be mine. But I’m feeling possessive. It wasn’t the organic eggs making my stomach churn.
It was jealousy.
It’s a terrible thing to realize. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been so adverse to Bennet all this time. I knew what would happen if I had him. I realized what this was the first and only time that he was inside of me. It felt so right, so fucking perfect.
I knew in that moment he would absolutely wreck me.
I need to fortify myself. I will not sit on the swing next to him and cuddle into his warm body. It’s bad enough that I sleep with him each night, despite not needing to. It’s just a thing we do now. We don’t even question it. I tell myself it’s because it’s cold in the trailer and that there is no lock on the door, but deep down I know better. I like waking up next to him.
I just like being close to him.
My legs carry me over to the swing despite my mental resistance, and I plop down with a huff beside him. Bennet smirks as he pulls the blanket up over our legs and his big arm wraps around me, making me melt into his side.
He’s worn me down. I’m just a nub of feelings now. There’s nothing to do about it now but accept that this is currently my life.
“It’s just us here,” he says, his breath whispering across my skin. “Everyone is gone. Won’t be home for hours.”
I peer up at him and watch as he pulls those lips between his teeth, his pupils dilating.
