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“What’s going on?” Lorenzo asked.
Damn it, was he going to make me put it into words?
“I know that we’re headed in a direction. Together, I mean. As a couple, or something.”
“You see, that’s the problem,” Lorenzo said. “Theor somethingyou keep throwing in. You always make it seem like you’re invested… until you point out that you might not be. I don’t know what to make of it. Of you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t mean to screw you around, you know.”
“And yet, you do.”
“That’s not fair,” I said. “I told you from the start you don’t want to do this. I told you after the wedding it’s a bad idea to see each other again, and you keep pushing.”
“Are you telling me you don’t want me to?” Lorenzo asked. “Because if you don’t want to see me again, all you have to do is say so.”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” I said. “I do want to see you again.”
“Just as a friend?”
“I don’t think friends do… what we’ve done.” I thought about the hot nights we’d spent together, the way he kissed me, touched me… I shivered when I flashed on how he felt when he pinned me against the wall, burying himself deep inside me. Heat washed over my body.
“No, they don’t,” Lorenzo said tightly. “The thing is, I don’t know where I stand with you. You say one thing and you show me another and I deserve more.”
“Why does it have to be about more?” I asked. “We always agreed that it wouldn’t be about more, that when it was all over, we’d go our separate ways.”
Lorenzo stopped and turned to me.
“Yeah, when we were kids, we said that. We’re not kids anymore, Celine. We’re grownups, and I’m not just looking for a summer fling. I want to be with you, and sometimes I’m convinced you want to be with me, too.”
I didn’t answer him. What was I supposed to say to that?
“Do you want to be with me, too?” Lorenzo asked when I didn’t answer him.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Itisthat simple,” Lorenzo countered.
I shook my head. “You don’t know me.”
“Will you stop telling me that!” Lorenzo cried out. “It’s getting old, Celine. I know you. If anyone fucking knows you, it’s me. Damn it, you’re so set on pushing everyone away, you’re pushing the people who care away, too.”
It sounded dangerously close to what Anna had said earlier.
He was right. I knew he was right. It made me want to cry. My eyes stung with tears, and that pissed me off. I hated it when I got emotional. Anger was so much easier to deal with.
“What do you want from me?” I asked. “I warned you about me. I told you it was a bad idea. If you really know me as well as you do, why the hell are you still here? You claim you know who I am, so why are you still holding on?”
“Because I know who you are! I know you’re worth it, but I’m not going to fight forever. You’re going to keep pushing, and one day, I just won’t come back.”
“Then don’t come back,” I snapped.
I glared at Lorenzo, and he stared at me. I could see the pain in his eyes after what I’d said. I didn’t really want him to go, but fuck, was he really going to challenge me like that? The last thing someone had to do was challenge me. I couldn’t back down, then. It had become a character flaw, I was aware of that, but if someone challenged me, I didn’t back down.
Lorenzo opened his mouth to speak but a loud crack of thunder sounded above us. We both jerked our heads up. A moment later, rain poured down in torrents. The one moment, it had been clear skies; the next, it was a wild storm.
Lightning cracked close to us, and the electricity in the air ran along my skin, making the hair on my arms and neck stand on end.
“Shit,” Lorenzo cried out and yanked me closer to him. “We have to get out of here!”
