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Lorenzohadbeenupbeatsince the moment we’d washed away from our campgrounds, but his resolve was slipping. He’d tried to be strong for both of us, but things weren’t looking up yet, and it was getting to him.
Weirdly, I wasn’t as panicked as I’d been at first. I was way out of my comfort zone and if I’d ever been against camping, I hated it now more than ever. Still, I didn’t feel like I was on the verge of a panic attack all the time. I felt like I’d settle into our fate. At least for now.
I wasn’t going to give up or anything—that would be dumb. We had to make it out of here. But I’d figured that I’d been stubborn as hell my whole life, kicking and fighting against what everyone wanted for me or from me, and if I could do that, then I could kick and fight my way out of this, too.
That had to make sense on some level, right?
Without Lorenzo, I wouldn’t have been able to do any of it. He’d been my rock through this whole ordeal. Not only because he understood survival and knew a lot about the wild all around us but also because he’d been a pillar of strength.
I wanted to return the favor.
I just didn’t know if he wanted that kind of strength from me. Yesterday, I’d felt good about us. I’d never considered myself a long-term person, and I’d never thought I’d end up in a relationship, but with Lorenzo, I could see a future. I could see us doing it all.
He’d been so on board with the idea all this time. Not in words, but with how he’d pursued me, how he’d reached out to me, how he’d broken every rule I’d had in my book until I’d given in and realized what I really wanted.
I wanted him.
I just wasn’t sure that was what he wanted. He’d said that he was losing faith—or something to that effect—when I’d asked him earlier, but I didn’t get the feeling that was all that was wrong.
Sure, we were in a bad spot. I tried not to think about it too much, or I would start hyper-ventilating, too. The thing was, Lorenzo had shut down from me, drawn away. It wasn’t just that he wasn’t in the best mental space, he was emotionally unavailable now.
Had I done something to piss him off? Had I made him think that we weren’t right for each other? I racked my brain and tried to figure out what could have happened, but nothing jumped out at me.
“How long was your longest relationship?” I asked.
Lorenzo frowned. “What?”
“Have you ever had a serious girlfriend?”
“That’s two different questions.”
“Is it?”
Lorenzo nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been in long-term relationships, but that doesn’t mean they were serious.”
“Oh,” I said. “That sounds… backward.”
“Two years,” Lorenzo said. “It’s long, but not long enough to do permanent damage after a breakup.”
I giggled. “What does permanent damage?”
“The way you love, I guess.”
He was right about that.
“How about you?”
I shrugged. “Never more than a couple of months before I managed to get rid of them. I wasn’t ever into it, though, so I guess that doesn’t count as a relationship in the first place, then. Just something my dad forced me into every time.”
Lorenzo shook his head. “I don’t understand that part.”
“What?”
“Archie didn’t look like the type of guy to do that.”
“Oh, he’s a very nice guy when he’snotyour dad,” I said. “Trust me on this.”
Lorenzo chuckled, and it was good to see him smiling.
