Page 87 of Do-Over with my Ex


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“God, I can’t even imagine if something like that happened to me and I didn’t come back to him…” She shuddered. “I fear dying, but not because I’m scared of death. I’m scared of what Wes will have to go through if he loses me.”

I nodded. I hadn’t had anyone or anything in my life that would miss me when I was gone. Not the way Anna had Wes. Lorenzo had been my one true connection, the one person I’d let close enough that I’d opened up to him.

My stomach twisted, and my heart physically ached as if it was breaking all over again.

We watched the screen, sitting side by side in silence, and I was so grateful for Anna’s presence.

“Thank you for coming to see me,” I said.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t come sooner. It’s been so busy and I can’t give up jobs.”

“I know. I didn’t expect you to. I know you have a lot to take care of.”

“I just wish I’m not the only one, sometimes. I wish I had a safety net, or a teammate, someone who’s there to pick up the pieces when I can’t make it all happen.”

“You’ll find your person, Anna,” I said. “You’re nothing like me.”

Anna frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You’re warm and welcoming and open to letting people in. I’m not like that. I keep everyone at arm’s length, and when they get too close, I make life hell for them. It’s a curse.”

Anna shook her head. “You’re not so bad, you know.”

I chuckled. “Thanks for that.”

“I hope I find someone eventually, but I’m okay if I don’t,” Anna added. “I’d rather do it on my own than have someone who drags me down.”

“Amen to that.”

We fell into silence again.

“Do you think I should go see him?” I asked after a while.

“Lorenzo?”

I nodded. “I know he called it off, and usually I’m the type of person to say, ‘fuck this shit,’ but I can’t stop thinking about him. He pushed until he was close to me, and I got attached, and now I want him in my life. Even though he doesn’t deserve it after all the crap he pulled, I just can’t imagine not being with him. I know it sounds dumb, but I’m in love with him.”

“You don’t know?” Anna asked quietly.

“Know what?”

“Lorenzo left the country,” she said. “I thought… I thought he would have told you.”

My stomach dropped, and I felt faint. My migraine throbbed wildly.

“What?” I asked, my voice thin.

“He went back to Italy.”

“For how long?” I asked.

Anna shook her head slowly. “It didn’t sound like he had plans to come back.”

A strange wailing sound filled the room. It took me a moment to realize the sound came from me.

“I’m so sorry, Celine,” Anna said. “I thought…” She sighed. “I don’t know what I thought.”

“It’s fine,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut to try to stop myself from crying. “It doesn’t matter, anyway.”

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