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Things already seemed tough two years ago but they feel like compared to the struggles of today.
I have to get him to talk about her somehow,I decide.If I can just convince him that the best way to keep us intact would be to keep us and Ezra a secret, then I wouldn’t have to face Rhovier ever again… Maybe then I could finally be happy.
I rise and begin making my way back to the shop, trying to ignore the voice inside me. Once I’m back inside, I re-open the store and retreat behind the counter, hoping the rest of the day goes by quickly. That voice replays the same two questions over and over.
But how long could you keep it up for Sienna? Do you really think a life lived in secret could truly prosper?
24
RIS
I’m on my way to Sienna’s shop full of excitement for the night that lays ahead. Tonight, I’m playing a sold out theater that’s been heavily advertised for the past couple of weeks, though that’s not what has me so animated.
Since it’s an evening show, I know for certain that Sienna will be off work, and I want nothing more than for her to attend tonight’s performance. Already, I’m picturing her smiling face in the crowd.
Also on my mind is a totally new set of songs I’ve pieced together for the show, all of which are inspired by Sienna.
“It wouldn’t feel right if she wasn’t there to hear me play,” I say to myself.
I need my muse to be there, hearing all of what I’ve created for her. None of it would feel right if Sienna did not attend. I knew deep down that I possessed a way with words and instruments that no other artist did, as if music itself were created for me and me alone.
I wonder if it ever occurred to Sienna that all of my music is about her.
I recall her watching from the side of the stage as I gazed over at her, smiling as she listened to me playing. Despite me performing for all of Vhoig to see, it was all for one special person.
All of my ballads and songs I hold dear to my heart, often keeping me company when Sienna disappeared two years ago. A lump forms in my throat when I think of how songwriting was the only way I could connect with her in her absence. All of those lonely nights with nothing to talk to but the keys of my jinrayaha and the strings of my ilya.
From this morning until now, I’d been debating on whether or not it was the right time to tell Sienna about those songs being for her, to put my heart on my sleeve. Even now as I walk, I think of telling her everything the moment I enter the shop.
No,I think to myself.First, let her listen to my instrumentals and lyrics. Let her become absorbed in them, then after the show, I’ll let her in on it all,I decide.
I let out a satisfied sigh, feeling confident the time has come for her to know how I truly feel, how I want for her to be my one and only mate for life. I smile, thinking of raising Ezra with her as one happy family.
There’s never going to be a better time than tonight’s performance.
I reach the busy street upon which her shop is located. I step over a passed out dfam, holding a bottle of ale in his hand. I come to the outside of the shop, peering in through the window.
There she stands behind the counter, absorbed into a book. With seemingly no customers in the store, I straighten myself up and prepare to make my entrance.
I open the shop door, stepping in with a confident stride that widens Sienna’s eyes. Her initial surprise quickly changes to happiness when she sees it’s me, coming out from behind the counter for me to envelope her in my arms.
“Ris!” she greets. “It’s so good to see you. What are you doing here? I thought you would’ve been performing.”
“Well that’s actually part of the reason I’m here,” I reply. “By any chance, you don’t have any plans for the evening, do you?”
“No, I was just going to relax at home with Ezra, why?”
“Great because I’m playing a performance tonight at Le Lazurt.”
I take her hands in mine.
“I’d love for you to come along with Ezra.”
“I don’t know,” she states. “I don’t usually like to head out in the evenings.”
“I’ll be playing a brand new set that’s never been heard before,” I say excitedly before whispering into her ear. “I think you’d really like it if you guys came along.”
She throws a palm to her nape, rubbing it as she crosses her brows in deep thought.
