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I gave a nod in response and turned my attention back to the dessert on my plate. His words had stirred something inside of me, and I found it hard to concentrate on finishing the rest of the sweet treat. Instead, vivid images of him taking me consumed my mind. It was a surreal feeling to know that it was actually going to happen, and soon.
Feeling completely overwhelmed, I excused myself from the table, my body trembling with anticipation. As I made my way out, I could sense Sebastian’s eyes following my every move. Though I couldn’t see him, I felt the weight of his gaze, and it made me feel like I was the only thing he truly craved.
I headed back to my wing of the castle, getting lost along the way. I really should have paid more attention to the tour Barclay gave me, but I’d never admit that to Sebastian after I boldly stated I didn’t need a tour. Changing into a soft dress shirt of Sebastian’s that Barclay provided for me to sleep in, I laid the dress Barclay had given on the foot of the bed and wondered for the first time who it belonged to. Why did Sebastian have it? Was it Charlotte’s? And whowasCharlotte?
* * *
In the middle of the night, I stirred from a disturbing dream. Although I lay in a vast, plush bed adorned with the fluffiest pillows, slumber evaded me. The past horrors I had witnessed and endured had taken their toll, and my mind was consumed with thoughts of Fiona’s safety. I believed in her strength, and if I had survived for this long, then surely, she could too. The rumbling of my stomach broke my reverie, and I regretted not eating more during dinner. However, my uncomfortable encounter with Sebastian had been too much of a distraction. Barclay had informed me I could access the kitchen anytime, so I made my way downstairs. But the unfamiliar route, since Sebastian had me moved to a different wing, left me disoriented, and I found myself lost again.
I was just about to retrace my steps when I caught a glimmer of light shining from under a steel door. I contemplated for a moment, then opened the door and found steps leading up. Every step I took was a shock to my body. Like needles piercing the bottom of my soles. As I climbed the frozen stone stairs, I strained to listen for any sign of Sebastian or anyone else. There was no sound, but when I reached the open space at the top of the stairs, he was there, sitting silently in a large chair as he looked out an open window. The frigid air was unforgiving, and the thought of him sitting shirtless in front of an open window in the dead of winter piqued my curiosity more than anything. He traced his finger across his lips as he balanced a glass of liquor on his knee.
I felt like I was intruding on a private moment, but my mind flashed to when he showed up in my bathroom earlier today, and I decided I didn’t care if I was welcome here or not. My curiosity was in control, and I’d never been so interested in a person before. Sebastian was enigmatic, and I wanted to know him, even though I could tell he didn’t want the same thing.
My eyes locked on his back. The darkness limited my vision, but I longed to see as much of him as I could. I didn’t pay attention to where I was stepping until my heel landed on a small, sharp rock, drawing a pained gasp from my lips.
Sebastian turned and stood, his eyes burning into mine. “What are you doing roaming around the castle at night?” His words came out in almost a whisper, taking me by surprise. He took a sip of his liquor and trailed his gaze up my body.
“Um… I was looking for the kitchen.” It wasn’t a lie, but I obviously knew this wasn’t the kitchen when I came up here. My eyes shifted over his shoulder, and I took a step closer. “I’ve never seen the moon so bright before.”
It was beautiful, surrounded by a cloudless sky and a blanket of stars. I stepped past Sebastian, almost close enough to brush against him, but not quite, and looked out the window. I peeked my head over the edge and experienced a moment of dizziness. It was a long way down.
“You’ll see it like this for the next nine months while you’re here.”
I turned to face him, the reminder that I’d be here from an entire pregnancy making me feel jittery. I would spend so much time with Sebastian.
He was so close to me, and I couldn’t keep my eyes from slipping down to his bare chest. It was a little brighter here with the moon behind me, but I still couldn’t make out the burns very well.
His height reminded me of a skyscraper as he towered over me. I tilted my head to meet his stare and my heart stopped. Everything stopped. An intimate moment found its way between us, before another guest of wind snatched it away, forcing me to turn away from him. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and watched as he stood motionless. If a shiver ran down his spine, he hid it, and hid it well. Once the wind subsided, I turned my body to face him again, and noticed the darkness in his eyes. I’ve looked many men in the eyes over the years, but nothing compared to the ominous past hiding behind his irises.
I took a step closer, and his muscles feathered over his jaw, causing them to clench. The masculine scent of his soap wrapped around my lungs. It was intoxicating, and I breathed it in, causing me to sneeze. The sound broke the moment between us, and Sebastian shook his head as if clearing it before turning and heading back toward the stairs. I followed, but winced at the slight pain on my bruised heel. Sebastian glanced back just in time to see my expression and grunted before grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder. The air was pushed out of my lungs, and it took a moment to recover.
As Sebastian carried me, my hair fell over my face, obscuring my view of our surroundings in the darkness. Despite the urge to struggle and demand to be released, there was also an odd sense of comfort in his strong hold that made me hesitate. It felt safe, tapping into an instinctual trust that I couldn’t quite explain.
Abruptly, he set me down on a hard surface and flipped on a light switch, revealing that we were in the kitchen, and I was perched on the island counter. The cold surface sent a shiver through my body, and I realized I was only in Sebastian’s shirt, with my bare ass pressed against the countertop.
I blinked at the sudden brightness and turned to Sebastian. My mouth dropped open at the sight of the scarring on his chest. It was horrible, and my heart broke at the thought of how much pain he must have endured.
At first, he seemed oblivious to my gaze as he reached into a cabinet to retrieve a glass. As he turned to face me, I quickly averted my eyes, feeling embarrassed and certain that my cheeks were now flushed. For a moment, he said nothing, and I continued to watch him in silence.
Soon enough, he poured water into two glasses and handed one to me without a word.
“You’re hungry?” he asked.
I nodded, and he walked off toward what looked like a pantry. I chewed on the inside of my lip as I waited for him to return, and shifted slightly. The center island made tingles shoot up my spine as the minutes passed. I perked up when I caught sight of what was in his hand. Although I had a wonderful dinner and dessert yesterday evening, the yummy taste of his delicate chocolate bars would never escape me. I reached out for it, but he batted my hand away. Unwrapping it himself, he came close, so that he was standing right in front of me. He took a small bite of the round confection before holding it up to my lips.
I held his eyes as I took what remained in my mouth, my tongue darting over one of his fingers and causing a flare of heat to appear in his eyes.
“You need to make sure you’re eating enough at dinner,” he said, but there was no bite to the criticism. “You won’t be able to get away with that when you’re eating for two.”
His words choked me up, the reminder that I was going to carry his baby soon sending a rush of desire through me. As if he could tell, he reached up and cupped my chin, tilting my head back.
A series of spluttering heart beats went haywire in my chest as he dipped his head, and when his lips touched mine, I melted into him. It was rough and demanding. I didn’t breathe, the blood in my veins warmed, and I stalled. He deepened the kiss, using his thigh to spread my legs apart and forced himself between them. A slight sting settled on my scalp, setting my nerves on fire. His hands found their way into my tresses and he pulled, exposing my neck to the ceiling. The carnal desire that clawed at him was painful, and I was sure he was going to have his way with me on this center island, but then he stilled his movement. With a staggered breath, our lips detached, but only for a second before he dove back in to leave his mark. Without any decorum, my fingers pressed into the grooved skin of his torso as the bitter taste of alkaline settled on my tongue. I wanted more.
I parted my lips for him, but instead of slipping his tongue inside, the way I wanted, he stepped away. We were both panting, and I felt an ache for him forming inside of me, but I fought the urge to reach for him .
He wouldn’t respond to it; I could see that in his eyes. There was regret there.
Why did that hurt so much? I barely knew this man.
