Page 85 of Hate Like Ours

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At the very end of the lawn, there’s a shed and a few trees. That looks like the perfect spot for me to disappear to when I want to be alone. There’s enough shade under the trees to sit there and read. This place is massive and I hope I don’t get lost.

My room is the last place on the tour and when we step in, I see that it’s bigger than my last room.

“Everything will be here soon and the guys will also unpack it so you won’t have to lift a finger,” Jonathan says to me with a smile on his face. He points to the door across from mine. “That’s Knox’s room, Just let him know if you need anything.”

Oh great! Of course the asshole is right across from me. Mom and Jonathan get ready to leave. They probably want to spend some time together.

“Oh, dinner is at seven and everyone needs to be there,” Jonathan says before both he and my mom leave me to my own devices.

I walk further into my room and check it out. I go into the walk-in closet and see all the space that’s here. I definitely don’t have that many clothes to fill this up.

I put the suitcase on the bed and open it, taking the baggie out first and then walk into the bathroom to look for a place to stash it. After I do, I walk back into the room and start emptying the clothes from my suitcase by placing them on the bed. I’ll need to get hangers from the closet to hang them up. I’m so engrossed in what I’m doing that I don’t realize I’m not alone until I hear his voice.

“Don’t get too comfortable. You don’t fucking belong here. It’s only a matter of time before you and your mom are thrown out on your asses!” his hard and angry voice says, coming from the doorway. I quickly look up and see Knox standing there, glaring at me.

“Looks like I do, since I’m here. And you don’t have a say in anything since your father runs shit around here,” I tell him just to piss him off. Why couldn’t he have just given me a day to get used to this place before he went around snapping and snarling at me.

“You and your mother are nothing but fucking gold-digging sluts!” he snaps. “And that’s the only reason why you’re here.”

“In case you didn’t realize this, asshole, but no one told your dad to ask my mom to marry him! I didn’t ask to be here either!” I fume at him. I’m tired of all the fucking name calling. I swear no one on this earth makes me madder than him.

“You disgust me!” he sneers.

“Yet you still can’t stop fucking me! You seek me out every chance you get!” I huff.

“When you’re getting it free from a whore, why would you want to stop?” he questions with a smirk on his stupid face.

“Keep lying to yourself, Knox. The only one you’re fooling is yourself, dickhead. You want me so fucking bad, you don’t know what to do with yourself. You fucking hate that you want the whore you can’t leave alone. It must fucking kill you inside, doesn’t it?” I snap at him. I watch as each of my words penetrate him and hit their target.

He can act all tough like he doesn’t give a shit, but he cares and that’s what has him so fucking pissed. He wants me as much as I want him, but I’m not about to tell him any of that.

“Now if you’re done insulting me, get the fuck out of my room,” I sneer at him.

I’m surprised when he leaves, but I know that in no way it means it’s over between us. He’ll find some other way to make me pay. I’m here in this house for less than an hour and already we’re throwing words and insults at each other. Everything I said to him is true. I just don’t know how I’m going to survive him while we’re on his turf.



As soon asKnox left my doorway after our little spat earlier, I threw myself onto my new bed and stayed there for the rest of the afternoon. I was waiting to get dinner over and done with since it seemed like it was going to be a family affair.

I just lay there and stared up at the beautiful ceiling. It looked like one of those ones you’d find in Greek architecture, you know the ones that looked lifelike? I was in awe of having one of those in my room, not going to lie.

My thoughts eventually wondered to what it would take to get through to Knox and make him not hate me anymore. I don’t think that would ever happen, but maybe it would be worth a try to dig and see what I could find.

I know he’s hurting because of his mom’s death and he’s taking much of that pain out on me. I just can’t figure out why that is.Am I ugly? Is that why he’s picking on me? Because I’m the ugly new girl?

So many questions and no answers. I have a feeling that if I knew how his mother’s death relates to me or if it even relates to me, then I’d know exactly why he hates me. Then again, I just fucking moved here. Obviously, it can’t relate to me. Maybe he just hates thick girls. I have no fucking clue.

Anyone with a brain can see that he’s clearly hurting and not at all okay. I see the way he hides himself behind that gruff-and-mean exterior but deep down, he’s just a boy in so much pain. I wish I could help take it away from him.

Now I sound like one of those idiots who are always making excuses for other people. The truth is, I think he needs therapy. But if I even mention that to him, he might literally kill me. I guess I have no choice but to let him deal with whatever it is on his own. It’s not like he’ll listen to a word I have to say concerning his mental health, anyway.

I have no room to talk since my mental health isn’t faring much better either. It seems like we’re both broken in some way or another.

Feeling restless and itching to get high again, I get up from the bed and get another pill from the bathroom where I hid them earlier. As soon as the pill goes down my throat, it instantly feels like my world is right again, at least for the time being.

I know I can’t feel the effects of it yet, but just knowing that it’s in my system is enough to make the itchy feeling stop. Lately I’ve become too dependent on those pills. If I go a day without taking them, it literally feels like I want to crawl out of my skin.

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