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“It’s ugly and it makes me look uglier,” I say, because that’s exactly how I feel when I look into the mirror and not just because of the assault. Even before then, I let their words fill my head. He goes to pull away from me but I stop him. I just need something for myself right now and that something is him.
“Baby, you’re hurt and I don’t want you to hurt more,” he whispers to me in a soothing tone, like he’s talking to a child or something.
“Well, I was hurt yesterday when you were fucking me up against that tree,” I point out to him.
“I didn’t know. You hid that shit and made me fuck you without telling me you were that injured,” he grumbles.
“Well then, I guess it’s because I’m ugly now. Is that it? If it is, then screw you, asshole!” I seethe at him.
“For fuck’s sake! You’re not ugly! You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he says with sincerity in his voice. “You take my fucking breath away every time I look at you. Don’t you think it fucking kills me every single time I look at you and can’t find the fucking light in your eyes anymore? Fuck! It’s killing me that you’re not okay, that you were hurt, and I can’t take your pain away.”
“Then do what I need you to do and it’ll help,” I tell him. He moves until he’s on his knees on the bed and he’s pulling my pants off.
Seven
KNOX
I prayfor the level of patience I don’t have right now as I deal with Raine. She’s so confusing with her mood swings. Half the time I’m not sure what to do with her. Though I know she’s just goading me right now.
I don’t let her words get to me but stay calm instead. If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s the fact that I’ll do whatever it takes to show her that I care for her and make sure she doesn’t kill herself, no matter what’s going on in that pretty little head of hers.
If my girl wants some loving right now, even though she’s all banged up, then that’s what I’ll give her. I’m working toward her forgiveness after all, aren’t I?
But I have noticed a change in her, though I can’t quite put my finger on it. I feel like I’m missing something crucial, especially since I’ve been getting the feeling that she’s lying to me. She can hold her secrets for now. Sooner or later, I’m going to find out what she’s keeping from me.
Pushing those thoughts away for now, I focus all my attention back on her. I want to give her what she wants. I need to make her feel good because it’s the only thing she seems to want right now.
Who knows how long this will last? Her wanting me to soothe whatever is plaguing her. As soon as whatever she’s feeling right now goes away, she’ll probably go right back to hating me and pissing me off every chance she gets.Is the love of your life supposed to piss you off so much? Asking for a friend.
I wanted an exciting life since I was getting bored with the same thing every day, didn’t I? Now I have all the excitement that I could possibly want and that’s all thanks to my little headache that’s staring up at me with a lost look.It’s a look that I hate to see in her eyes…
She probably doesn’t even know that’s the look she wears most of the time now. I feel a pang of guilt pass through me because I know it’s all my fault.
Honestly, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to make it up to her, but what I am certain of is the fact that I’ll never let her go. One of these days, I will love her back to life again. Her hardheaded ass just needs to be open to it.
Deciding to not make her wait any longer, I back away from her a little until I’m kneeling on the bed between her spread thighs. I pull her pants and panties off in one go and then stare at her completely naked body for a moment.
She still looks frail and now even more banged up because of the accident. I’m mad that I wasn’t there when she had the accident, to take care of her, but it’s too late to wish for what I can’t change.
Her entire body is littered with black-and-blue spots. Something about the way they’re mapped out on her body is nagging at me but then she starts to squirm under my inspection so I focus on her again instead of my inner thoughts.
I make a promise to myself to spend the next few weeks nursing her back to health since she still looks way too thin for my liking.
“You’re absolutely beautiful,” I rasp out in a voice thick with so much emotion. I’m not lying, she is. I wish I could have seen her like that first instead of seeing her with my hate-tinted glasses.
“You’re a twisted asshole, you know that? Only you would think that being covered in bruises would make someone beautiful,” she says with a roll of her eyes.
“I guess… I don’t think we were meant to be perfect. Our love was supposed to be brutal before it could be something great,” I tell her, and she lets out a snort at my words.
“What are you, some kind of poet or something now? All that brutality could have been avoided if you weren’t such a grade A asshole. We’re not in love, so I don’t see how it’s great. Besides, good girls aren’t supposed to love monsters like you.” She snaps out the last part at me. I can see the different emotions crossing her face. She’s fighting with herself because on one hand, she knows there’s something between us since she can feel it too, but on the other hand, she doesn’t want us because she won’t forget about everything that went down between us.
“Then it’s a good thing you aren’t a good girl then, isn’t it? You’re a filthy little thing who lets the monster worship her pussy like the holy grail, even though monsters aren’t supposed to believe in such things. But you love every moment of me down on my knees before you, licking and sucking every inch of your hot and needy little hole, don’t you? That’s why you’re begging for it right now,” I tell her in a low and raspy voice. I watch as her eyes dilate at my words. She’s turned on even though she’s trying to act like she isn’t.
“I do like you down on your knees for me because it’s where you belong after everything that you’ve done. You haven’t worshipped at my altar nearly enough yet. And I don’tletanything happen. The monster just does what it does best which is taking whatever it wants without thought of anything else,” she spits, her words filled with venom. I let them slide because I know it’s just her anger talking right now.
Not wanting to listen to her speak anymore, I hop off the bed and shrug my pants and boxers off in one go. This will give her what she’s been asking for and it will also shut her up. I stand there for a moment and watch her as she stares at my cock like she can’t tear her eyes away from him. The fucker is loving it because he’s already hard as fuck for her. He’s just waiting for the moment he can slide into her hot cunt and feel her juices coat him. From here, with her legs still open, I can see that her pussy is soaking already. Just to fuck with her a bit…
“Beg for it, baby. Otherwise, he won’t fill your tight and aching little hole that’s oozing all that juice right now,” I say with a smirk as I look pointedly between her thighs. She closes her legs in an attempt to hide from me but it’s no use. I already know she wants me as much as I want her. At least that’s one thing we have going for us. Sex has never been an issue between us before and it certainly isn’t right now either.
