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Maybe I’d even be able to push it to a quad before Nationals.
I probably should have stuck with my singles routines to begin with. But it’d been too infuriating that Jasper had found a loophole to avoid going head-to-head right when I was sure I could beat him.
Whatever. Competing one way or another was more important than showing him up. I could admit that much.
And he’d maybe even earned his victory over me and Jess at Finals. I could also admit that their epic free-skate performance hadn’t relied only on Lou’s skills.
At the other end of the rink, her laugh pealed out. I resisted the urge to glance over and try to guess what had provoked her amusement.
Going through the motions of the routine, I kept my attention on the precise angles and the amount of power I would need to make sure that each move was faultless. But every now and then, I couldn’t stop my gaze from snagging on Lou. Her grace as she soared across the ice was close to hypnotizing.
When I was concentrating on my own run-throughs of both of my routines, I summoned a reasonable sense of satisfaction. I had them memorized—many of the spins and jumps were the same as I’d performed with Jess, just in a different order.
I didn’t have that far to go before I could bring them up to scratch. And Niko had been worried about me.
I might have rolled my eyes, except right then I noticed Lou loping up the steps to the door, her skates slung over her shoulder.
Fuck! I’d gotten lost enough in my concentration that I hadn’t noticed her hasty preparations to leave. Had it already been an hour?
Niko and Jasper were still on the ice, Jasper raising his hand in a farewell wave that Lou returned as she reached the door. My heart lurched.
I couldn’t let her just leave—not when we hadn’t exchanged a single word.
Ignoring whatever stares the other guys might be aiming my way, I flung myself toward the bench where I’d left my skate guards, tugged them on, and bolted up the stairs. Rafael didn’t say a word as I barged past him, but I heard the rasp of his footsteps as he followed me into the hall.
Like he thought I might be a threat to Lou. For fuck’s sake.
She was already halfway through the desolate reception area, just steps from the outer doors. My voice caught in my throat for a second before I forced it out.
“Lou, wait!”
Lou paused. I could see how she tensed in the instant before she turned to face me with wariness in her deep brown eyes. “Yeah?”
“Yeah?” I repeated. “Is that all you’ve got to say? I came all this way to help you—aren’t you even a little glad to see me?”
Even as the words tumbled out, a flash of shame washed over me. Could I have sounded more pathetic?
But Lou’s expression did soften a little, so maybe the sappiness was worth it.
She heaved a breath. “Look, I appreciate what you did—working with the other guys to find me. Thank you. But how much do you expect to change just like that?”
“Just like what?” I demanded.
She crossed her arms. “Youknowyou acted like an asshole from the moment I met you—and even more so to Jasper, who you also know I care about a heck of a lot. Just because you admitted it the other day doesn’t erase all those weeks. What, did you think all you had to do was lay on a little flattery, and suddenly I’d fall in love with you instead?”
My face heated, but I raised my chin. “I wasn’t looking for ‘I love you’s. I just—I want to get to know you better. In all sorts of ways. You’re not a one-guy kind of woman, and that’s totally fine. I’d be willing to share you if it means you give me a chance to show you that I can bemorethan just an asshole.”
Lou’s gaze held me pinned in place. Her lips twisted in a wry smile. “It’s not that easy, you know. I’m not sure if I want anything at all to do with you after the way you treated us. How long are you even going to be able to keep the peace with the three of them?”
“As long as it takes,” I insisted. “You’re more important than all that crap.”
She let out a soft huff. “We’ll see, I guess. It’s going to take time before I can figure out how to feel about you, even if you mean that.”
She spun on her heel, and this time I let her go without trying to call her back. How could I demand more from her right now when everything she’d said was true?
When she needed to get out of here to make sure her mom didn’t come down even harder on her.
But as I watched her vanish beyond the double doors, my stomach sank. How the hell was I going to convince her to look beyond the past?
