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I swung around to face off with this new figure, and the bottom of my stomach dropped out. The massive man’s face was shadowed by the hood of his sweatshirt, but I’d have known him anywhere regardless.
“Rafael!” I hissed. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He frowned, pitching his own voice low. “I’ve been keeping an eye on you, like always. You think I’m going to let your mother just send you wherever? I couldn’t let those pricks get the upper hand.”
I wanted to protest that I could have handled myself, but I wasn’t totally sure that was true, not when I felt so out of sorts. This slaughter was nothing like the operations I’d carried out of my own accord for my own purposes.
What would Niko and Jasper have thought if they’d seen this? Oh, God…
I yanked my mind back to the present and the one thing I did know. “You shouldn’t have risked it! If any of Mom’s people see you, if she finds out you followed me here and you’re trying to help me, it’s a death sentence.”
Rafael’s gaze seared into mine. Then, before I could react, he dragged me into a tight embrace.
“It’s worth the risk,” he murmured, insistent but strained. “It’s always going to be fucking worth it to make sure you’re safe. Lou… I love you. You know that, don’t you?”
I shouldn’t have been capable of the glow of happiness that lit in my chest. He’d never said that before, not in the actual words.
My throat choked up, and my legs wobbled beneath me. I’d never said it to him either.
I pushed myself back so I could meet his eyes. “Good. Because I love you too. And that’s why you need to get out of here before anyone else sees you.”
Rafael gave a curt nod with obvious reluctance. He hurried off into the darkness. With an ache in my heart, I let myself watch him go for just a second before I turned back to the site of the battle.
The guns had fallen completely silent. I’d only made it halfway down the first-floor hall when most of our men trooped down the stairs to join me.
A few of them held up bulging bags. “Got some loot to bring back too. Might as well take what we can, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Waste not, want not.” It wasn’t as if stealing was worse than what we’d already done to these people. None of the corpses around us would have any use for their stash now.
Octavio appeared among the others, blood streaked across his cheek but otherwise the same as he’d looked in the car. “Every Anaconda in the place is down. I think we’ve made a clear statement about betraying the Deadly Rose.”
I forced a stiff smile. “Then we’re done here. Let’s clear out before we have to deal with cops too.”
The drive home felt like it took a million years. When the SUV parked outside the mansion, I peeled myself out of the back seat to find Mom waiting on the front walk, her eyes gleaming. Octavio had already called her to let her know how the raid had gone down.
She patted my shoulder with a smile that might have actually been genuine. “Good work, Luciana. I knew I could count on you. You really made a statement, both for our people and our enemies.”
“I did my best,” I managed to say, and motioned vaguely to my bloody shirt. “I think I’d better go get cleaned up.”
“By all means. Then we’ll have to enjoy a victory drink.”
I trudged upstairs and swayed for a second before I managed to direct my body into my en-suite bathroom. The sight of myself in the mirror, hair mussed and face dappled crimson, brought back a surge of disgust and shame.
I looked like I’d orchestrated a bloodbath… because I had.
I couldn’t squirm out of my clothes fast enough. After turning the shower as hot as I could stand, I stepped into the scalding spray and let it stream over me.
No matter how much I scrubbed my skin, I couldn’t wash away the dirty sensation. I was soiled all the way down to my soul.
Mom was happy with my performance today. She said this was thestartof proving myself.
What the hell was she going to ask me to do next?
I closed my eyes and leaned against the tiled wall, suppressing a sob. I couldn’t keep doing this—I couldn’t be what she wanted. Trying to meet her demands was killingme.
Finally, I shut off the water and pulled a towel around me. Back in my bedroom, I stared blankly at my closet without any ability to care about what clothes I put on.
My gaze fell on the purse I’d brought to my brunch with the Storm. The one I’d tucked Beckett’s card into after he’d told me I should let him know if I could use his help.
